The Most Life Changing Thing
by LoveforPenandDerek
Summary: Love. Marriage. Baby. That's the old fashioned order of things but when the first and second don't come along on time for Emily Prentiss she skips to the third.
1. Chapter 1

Note- This story is sort of based on the premise of the Jennifer Lopez movie "The Back Up Plan".

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The Most Life Changing Thing

Reid and Prentiss

Chapter One

November 2010

The light knock, knock, knock on her hotel door had Emily Prentiss reaching for her gun. She saw too much in her job to be casual about security. Since she had come into the room only a few minutes before she knew that some creep could have followed her.

If so he was messing with the wrong woman tonight. She was in no mood to deal with any bull. The unsub they were chasing- in half frozen Minneapolis- was completely depraved. They had found the bodies of two little girls today. They had died holding hands while crouched together in a field. At this moment Emily felt so sad, so angry, so full of worry for her own personal life and her future, that she would snap on any creep who tried to mess with her.

Moving toward the door of the room she called out "Yeah?"

"Its just me."

"Reid," she murmured, shoving the gun back in her holster, before she opened the door. "To what do I owe this honor?"

"You seem like you need to talk."

"I do?" Was she broadcasting her turbulent feelings to the whole world? She was usually pretty good at clamping down on her internal thoughts, at least most of the time, but lately she had so much on her mind that it was overwhelming. And when Emily got overwhelmed it was not a pretty sight at all.

"You seem really worried about something," Reid assessed. "You keep checking your phone ten times an hour."

"Oh that," she said and then lied "I'm just waiting to hear from my mother. She said she might extend her trip in Italy and I'm hoping she does. My mother during the holidays is like def con five. Everyone has to be on high alert because if Elizabeth Prentiss does not have things her way she'll blow. I just can't deal with her this year." She paused and regarded him "What about you? Are you okay?"

He thought about it. "I could use to talk."

"Oh, okay," she said, completely surprised, and let him inside. If he wanted to talk then she surely wanted to listen.

Reid told her a story about how his mother used to try and hide that she was ill before his father left but everyone knew something was wrong with her.

"That's a sad memory," Emily said. "Have you been thinking a lot about your childhood recently?"

"Sometimes I dream about it. Those dreams...I try to decipher them but I can never figure them out enough to understand why everything fell apart the way it did. I told you that memory though because I feel like you're doing the same thing right now."

Her eyes searched his.

He went on "It seems like you don't want anyone to notice you're very stressed lately. You blow off Morgan when he asks what's distracting you and you snapped at Garcia, which isn't like you."

"I was just in a bad mood that day. I apologized later."

"I know," he said, gently, as he motioned at the bed. "Do you mind?"

"Sure. Have a seat."

They sat down together and Reid went on "I guess all I'm saying is...I noticed, Emily, and if you do need to talk you can talk to me. Do you know you are the only member of this team who treats me like an adult all the time? So treat me like one now and let me help you."

Maybe it was her hormones being so out of whack that night but Emily felt an overwhelming, could not be denied, rush of love for Reid. She had flirted with him for months already but that was just for fun. In this moment she felt something entirely deeper and more intense. Something she couldn't have resisted if she tried.

"Okay," she whispered "I'll let you help me," and then she brought her lips to his, surprising him with a soft kiss. "That helps," she murmured, her eyes searching his while she was still leaned so close to him that when she breathed her breaths washed over him. "What would help more is if you kissed me back."

Nervousness and uncertainly rested in his eyes as he closed the small gap between their lips and gave her a gentle, tentative kiss. Emily moaned against his mouth, a jolt of lust cascading through her at the knowledge that Reid had kissed her. Hearing her moan must have fueled his confidence and desire because he threaded his fingers roughly into her hair, titled her head and deepened the kiss with a savage intensity.

Reaching out blindly, needing to feel him under her fingers, she grabbed at his shirt, first twisting the fabric and then smoothing her hands over his chest. Responding back to his kiss with just as much passion and fervor she urged him on with her moans and caresses until he wrenched his mouth free of hers in order to breath.

He stared at her with hooded eyes- lust and shock in his gaze.

Emily panted and begged "Don't stop. Oh God, whatever you're thinking right now, Reid, don't you dare think about stopping."


	2. Chapter 2

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The Most Life Changing Thing

Reid and Prentiss

Chapter Two

November 2010

As they sat together on her hotel room bed, Emily leaned over and gave Reid a short kiss, shocking him at her bold move after all he had asked is if she would talk to him and let him help her.

Soon they were exchanging kisses until he broke away, breathless with eyes shimmering with lust and confusion.

Emily panted and begged "Don't stop. Oh God, whatever you're thinking right now, Reid, don't you dare think about stopping."

He cupped the back of her neck, pulled her close to him and they started to kiss some more, exploring each other's mouths with their tongues while their hands roamed over each other's bodies. He took her holster off and laid it on the night stand. Reaching for his hand she held it and proceeded to kiss the palm and then each finger, with her eyes locked on his, before letting go of his hand and taking off her shirt.

"Emily," he choked out, in a throaty tone, as his eyes raked over her chest.

She took off her bra before saying "You're falling behind."

"Right, right," he squeaked, going for his buttons with shaky hands.

"Let me." She unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off him. His sweater vest was left back in his hotel room before he came to her room. She then pulled off his white t-shirt. "So many layers you hide under." Seeing his chest she started to kiss it and whispered "God, you're beautiful."

She knew he wouldn't believe it. And he might never understand why she so much wanted him tonight. Maybe she could never explain it to him in a way that would make sense. A few months from now it would all be a moot point, if everything happened the way she had planned. She'd be gone from the BAU, never to return again. Maybe she would drift apart from all her friends there. She didn't want to think that is what would happen but Emily was a realist.

It sucked to know she might lose contact with the people she loved like a family but it didn't change what she wanted most for herself, or what she was going to do.

Things were in motion and she couldn't...she wouldn't...go back now. She'd have to make the most of being with him tonight because, due to the circumstances of her life, she couldn't see this turning into something long term. Still that didn't stop her from wanting him.

Emily craved Reid in a way that was primal.

Too many fantasies about him had her hot, bothered, and aching to play them out. She kissed all over his chest, helped him out of his pants and boxers, kissed along his stomach, his thighs, his dick. She licked him with vigor, loving his slightly salty taste.

His hands on her were gentle one moment, rough the next and then gentle again. She shivered under his sensual, needy touch, and smirked when he cried out her name as she swallowed down his essence. While Reid lay there panting and breathless, coming down from his high, Emily stood, on shaky legs herself, and stripped off the rest of her clothes till she was completely bare in front of him.

He watched her as she went to her purse and got a condom. She had never had reason to use one on a case before but she always carried a few in her purse. Coming back to the bed she kneeled on it, caressing Reid's legs for a moment before she crawled up his body and started to kiss on his throat. A moment later she nibbled his ear and confessed "I've never wanted anyone more than I want you right now." She moaned softly. "You want this too, don't you?"

Emily turned her head to look in Reid's eyes.

"Y...yes..." he stuttered slightly before repeating in a stronger and surer voice "Yes," then capturing her lips in a kiss and whispered against them "Yes...yes...I want this," as they kissed. His hands caressed her bare ass and she ground against him.

Reaching down Prentiss stroked Reid to full hardness again before slipping the condom on him. She hauled her leg over him, guided him against her wetness and slid down slowly, moaning and biting her bottom lip, till he was seated in her fully, her wetness slicking the condom and making it a smooth slide.

She sometimes had to use lube to get wet enough but not tonight. Tonight there was nothing in her brain telling her body that this wasn't quite right.

Emily started to rock against Reid, moaning and humming in pleasure, for a moment until he rolled her over, hitched her leg up and stroked in and out of her fast and sure. She exploded into a quick orgasm, biting back a scream.

As soon as she came down he took her lips in a possessive kiss and changed his pace to slower, longer strokes, working her body like the magician he was, leaving her mumbling words of barely coherent praise until she came so many time she briefly passed out, to wake and find Reid smirking at her.

He asked, with a cheeky grin on his lips, "Did that help as much as you thought it would?"

She gave him a very lazy, sleepy smile. "Very much so." Emily rolled to her stomach and lay her hand on Reid's chest. After a moment she said "I don't usually let guys sleep over unless its serious and its hardly never that serious."

"Don't they get offended?"

"Probably. I don't really care though." She stared deep into his eyes, while brushing back a sweaty curl from his forehead. "You can stay, if you don't got any better offer to be somewhere else."

"But you just said that you don't usually let guys sleep over. That's your M.O."

"I said _usually_." She winked at him. "But if you don't like morning sex then, by all means, take off."

A smile grew on his lips. "I would go back to my room, honestly, but I'm too tired to move and I think I strained my knee."

"Oh," she teased "poor baby!"

"Baby?" he teased back. "You thought I was all man a few minutes ago."

"I'll let you in on a little secret...I fake it well."

He stared at her for a moment, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth before she smiled and Reid said "Don't joke like that," while moving in close to her.

"Or what?" she teased, right before she burst into sexy giggles while he nibbled on her neck.

Oh, yes, he really did help her that night, indeed. Later on she would wonder if it wouldn't have been so much smarter to talk a little more though. He had wanted to listen and the time to confess really should have been before they had sex for the first time.

Then he would have went into everything with his eyes wide open but she never gave him that chance. She wanted him too much to risk him settling for just talking once he knew the real reason she was biting her fingernails again and checking her phone constantly.

He'd learn soon enough but for right now she was too busy enjoying herself to explain. It might be a mood killer and Emily just couldn't let that happen on the night when she had the most orgasms in a row that she had ever had.

She'd tell him the whole story later.


	3. Chapter 3

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The Most Life Changing Thing

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Reid and Prentiss

Chapter Three

November 2010

"Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my," Emily mumbled after she woke up, sore and smelling like sex, with Reid flung on top of her. "What did we do? Oh my!"

Sleepily he said, as he woke up, "That's not a good sign." He moved off her and blinked at her through adorable hazy half asleep eyes.

In a strangled tone she quickly said "Sorry!" and gave him a half smile, before yanking the sheet up to cover her breasts. "Did we have anything to drink last night?"

"I know I didn't and I feel," he yawned "fairly confident in saying you didn't either because you were only alone in your room for approximately three minutes before I knocked."

"That's what I thought. Hmmm. What excuse will we use then?"

"Do you need an excuse?"

"Me? No. Do you?"

"Nope."

"Oh...well, cool. Um...do you mind looking away because I really need to go to the bathroom to pee?"

He chuckled before his face went slack, because of the look on her face, and he asked "Wait, are you serious?"

"Yeah! Last night naked isn't the same as early morning naked. Its so bright in here now."

He gave her a completely confused look but looked away. She hopped out of bed, grabbed his shirt and put it on. As she hurried to the bathroom she said "Don't go anywhere."

"I'm no expert but I think this is what's called mixed signals in the world of mating."

From inside the bathroom she cried "Don't say mating!"

"That is the technically correct term."

Flush. "If you're at the zoo!" she called back as the water went on.

She didn't come out until she had brushed her teeth, washed up some and combed her hair. She felt much sexier when she exited the bathroom compared to when she went in. Emily strutted out into the room again and gave him her sexiest smile.

He wasn't paying attention though because he was messing with one of his contacts. She asked "Everything all right there?"

"I slept in my contacts and now my eyes are suffering from keratisis sicca."

"Is that serious?"

"It means they're dry, that's all."

She shook her head at him for using the medical term for something so simple. Digging in her purse she pulled out some eye drops and tossed it to him. "There you go, handsome."

He gave her a grateful smile before using it. Emily crawled on the bed, sitting with her legs tucked under her. Her fingers reached out to stroke over a hickey she had left on his chest. "If you try to hook up with someone else anytime soon you'll have some explaining to do," she teased.

"I can count on one hand how many times I've ever hooked up, if by hooked up you mean it how Morgan usually does. Having sex with someone you aren't dating. If that's the case, its highly improbable that I will hook up with anyone else before this fades away." He ghosted his fingers over a hickey on her and asked "What about you?"

"Oh, I'll just use makeup to cover it up so it won't be an issue. I can hook up all I want."

He gave her a very vulnerable look and she said "I was just teasing, Reid. I'm not going to hook up with anyone else anytime soon."

"I know you were just joking but its true. You can hook up with anyone at anytime, even after all we shared last night. I don't know...it seems somehow wrong. Like it should mean more than that but I know sex doesn't always mean more."

She longed to say so much but she wasn't ready to get into a heavy conversation filled with confessions so instead she just climbed onto his lap and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Hey, you are the only man I wanna hook up with and I wanna hook up right now. So I hope your dry eyes isn't so big of a medical condition that you're gonna turn me down." She started to kiss on his neck and then his chin and jaw. "Because I just might have to go ahead and pleasure myself if you refuse to help me out. And I won't even let you watch."

"You know me, Emily. I'm very helpful," he told her before capturing her lips in a kiss full of possession that left her gasping at how intense it was. Soon she was on her back, legs hitched high around his waist, as he drove into her with a fierceness that let her know he very much didn't want anyone else hooking up with her anytime soon, which was more than fine with her.

She had no plans or desires to sleep with anyone but Spencer Reid.

XXXXXXXXXXX

When their case was over, Emily was standing by the SUV waiting on the team to leave the local police station. It was only thirty degrees out and the cold was getting to her but she wanted privacy to make a phone call.

Ever since she noticed she had a missed call from her doctor's office she had been desperate to call them back before the office closed.

"Dr. Kline's office. How can I help you?"

"Yeah, hi, this is Emily Prentiss. Do you have my results ready?"

"Let me check here..." There was a long pause before Emily heard the words she had been waiting so long to hear "Its positive, Ms. Prentiss. You're pregnant."

The snow started to fall on her, just as the team slipped out the doors of the station, all laughing and joking with each other, while Emily stood there so happy she could cry and so scared she could faint, unable to let any of it show because, for now, it was all her little secret.


	4. Chapter 4

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The Most Life Changing Thing

Reid and Prentiss

Chapter Four

November 2010

Derek noticed Reid staring at Emily, who was sleeping, during their flight home from the case in Minneapolis. Leaning closer to Reid, Derek asked "What's up, kid? You're hawking Prentiss hard today. You getting yourself a little crush?"

"She seems very distracted lately. I'm worried about her. Do you think she's okay?"

Derek grew serious. "I don't know. I would hope that if she's not she would know she can talk to us but not everyone wants to lean on someone else when they are dealing with something heavy. Some people just solider through it alone. Or maybe she is talking to someone but its just not either of us. Don't be offended. If she needs you, she'll come to you, trust me on that, and when she does you can be there for her."

Reid nodded. "I will be. I just hope she feels she can come to me."

Derek smiled slightly, studying Reid. "I see some definite crushing going on in front of me right now."

"I'm too old for crushes."

Derek laughed. "Oh, you are so wrong. You ain't ever too old for a crush."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Before Emily left the BAU that night, when she standing there with her coat on and purse on her shoulder, she asked Reid "Hey," waited for him to look up from his paperwork and then asked "we're good, right?"

He thought for a moment. "Yeah."

She smiled slightly. "Good. Okay then, I'm out of here."

Emily began to walk out, as Reid looked at his paperwork again, but then she stopped and glanced back at him, with a longing look, knowing that in just a few months she wouldn't be working with him anymore. With a sigh she turned to leave, only to have him call out to her.

"Emily!"

She startled and turned around.

He asked "Is that it then?" with a vulnerable look on his face.

Her shoulders slumped somewhat. She made her way back to him, sitting slightly on the edge of his desk.

Reid said "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. I don't know why I did."

"Its okay." She stared at him for a long moment before reluctantly saying "Realistically, this should be it. Otherwise, its just too complicated."

"Yeah, it is complicated," he agreed, musing for a moment, and then added, his eyes raising to meet and settle on hers "but worth the complication, don't you think?"

She found herself nodding and staring at him with a dreamy look, and that is when she knew just how very complicated her life was becoming. Emily felt torn. She had just gotten this chance with Reid and didn't want to give it up. But she also didn't want to scare him away by telling him she was pregnant from artificial insemination. He might not be very attracted to her after hearing that or think she was in the wrong place to date him.

Or maybe he'd be just fine with it. Emily just wasn't willing to risk finding that out so she kept her mouth shut. Instead she stroked her hand on his arm and smiled at him, letting her actions speak for her.

Morgan wandered up and called out "Hey, hey, hey, do I feel some heat in here?"

Emily jumped. "God, you scared me!"

"You were lost in pretty boy's eyes."

"Derek, sometimes you really work my nerves. I'm too tired to deal with you tonight. So, boys, I'm heading home to get some much needed rest. Good night." She strolled out with a small smile on her lips.

The timing might suck but today she had everything she wanted most in life...Reid in her bed and she was carrying her child. It really was complicated but she would enjoy being with him for as long as she could until she was ready to share her news. And then they'd just have to take it from there.

It would not be fair to expect anything out of him though. He was younger than her- she had just turned forty last month and he was only in his late twenties- and he certainly had not signed on for any sort of baby duty. That was fine though. Emily planned to do this on her own and she would. But until the day she had to start doing it all on her own...she'd like to make the most out her last couple months being around the team, especially Reid.

Last night had been amazing. Something she wanted for so long. Sure she thought about how if she had hooked up with Reid sooner maybe he would be the father of her baby but she didn't really see Reid as wanting all that in his life right now and certainly he gave no indication, after one night of back breaking sex, he wanted anything like that with her.

They were no where near that place at all. And she couldn't wait any longer last summer when her birthday was approaching like a runaway train barreling down on her reproductive organs. She had to go for a baby then or maybe never at all.

And she had.

Emily's hand covered her stomach as she rode the elevator down to the parking lot that night. She didn't regret starting a family all by herself. Her baby would be cherished by her and that's more than some kids received who were born the traditional way. She knew she hadn't made a mistake in getting artificially inseminated at this point in her life.

Her baby was right on time for her.

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	5. Chapter 5

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Five**

**November 2010**

Emily Prentiss was not used to having everything in her life that she wanted. Feeling vaguely unsatisfied had been the norm all her life.

These days though she was starting to get used to the feeling of having it all- the best job, the best friends, a hot guy in her bed who she had great sex with, and a baby on the way. The only off thing in her life was her relationship with her mother but if Elizabeth stayed in Italy through the holidays then Emily wouldn't have to even deal with her mother bringing down Emily's wonderful high.

It had only been four days since the first time she had slept with Reid, and then learned the next evening that her artificial insemination had been successful and she was pregnant. The team was on another case-this time in Kansas City, Missouri- and Reid had come to her hotel room again. It was their second night in the city.

Emily had been pretty frustrated the night before when he didn't show up at her hotel room door. They hadn't gotten a chance to kiss at all since the last case ended. She had been craving his kiss, his touch, his body against hers. Eventually she fell into a restless sleep, twisting all the sheets around her as she tossed and turned.

As soon as she saw him in the hotel lobby this morning she had made an excuse to get him alone outside (asking him to walk with her to the nearby convenience store because she needed to pick up a few things). The second they were away from the team's prying eyes she had grabbed his shirt, pulled him against her and whined "You jerk, you made me sleep alone last night," letting him know that he was very much wanted in her bed. She had figured that was understood but this was Reid and he didn't assume anything so bold as that he had an open invitation to her bed whenever he wanted it.

Thank God tonight he had shown up at her room. As soon as she opened her hotel door and saw him in the hallway she flung herself on him, making him stumble backwards and they started to kiss frantically, not even caring if they got caught. They fell against the opposite wall from her hotel room, mouths joined and hands caressing each other, and kissed till they were both gasping for air.

Breaking apart, Emily opened her eyes to find Reid staring down at her with a lusty, possessive look. Taking her hand he tugged her into the hotel room and started to undress her. Going slowly he took off her watch first, bent and took off her shoes and socks, her pants and shirt. His hands caressed up her sides and then cupped her lace clad breasts, his thumbs slowly stroking her nipples into hard, puckered nubs.

She reached behind her and undid her bra, shrugging it off so it fell forward into Reid's hands. He tossed it aside and palmed her breasts, bending his head to nuzzle her chest before kissing over both her breasts while whispering, over and over in different languages that he knew she'd understand, "You're beautiful."

Emily's eyes were slammed shut, head titled back, lost in a heady daze of sensation as he caressed, kissed and sucked her breasts. Goosebumps covered her skin and shivers raced through her.

Yes, she was not used to having a life this good. It would take some getting used to.

XXXXXXXXX

Later, he lay for a moment with his face buried against the crook of her neck as their sweat slicked bodies both recovered from the mutual high they had reached a moment before.

Reid could hardly believe this was his life.

Things like this-a beautiful woman deciding out of the blue to take him as her lover- did not happen to guys like him. Guys like him had to stutter their way through asking out women, and fumble through a string of dates before having the slightest chance to be invited up afterwards. He very rarely bothered with all that, preferring to live a life of solitude than put himself out there that way.

Most every time he got into a relationship with a woman it happened because of some extraordinary set of circumstances had thrust them together and even he couldn't ignore that something was going on between them. It wasn't like that at all with this thing he had fallen into with Emily...it was so much easier.

Just two friends having good sex because they both wanted it.

It was truly that simple and being simple like that made him doubt it, in a way. Doubt if anything could actually be simple and good for long. But for right this second, as she held him close and he was buried inside of her, it felt right. For this second, it wasn't complicated and nothing inside of him hurt.

If only she could understand how amazing that was for him. Usually something, even if it was just the smallest twinge of leftover childhood pain, ached in Reid. But when he was making love to Emily that was all forgotten. All the days of not being enough were lost to the past because with her he was enough.

"Mmm," Emily moaned in a satisfied way before murmuring "you are so, so, so_ good _at that."

Reid smirked a little before rolling off her. She rolled on her side, as he was, and they were face to face. Reaching up she stroked his sweat dampened hair away from his face.

Emily joked with Reid "Well worth the walk across the hall, wasn't it?"

"I would fly across the planet for that. That is if humans could fly, which would be awesome." His voice got more animated. "Do you know the thing that makes birds able to fly is that they have..." he rambled on for a while about birds, superheros that can fly and evolution, while Emily stared at him with a probing look on her face.

Finally she rolled onto her back, laughing to herself, and rested her forearm over her head on the pillow. "You are unlike anyone else I've ever met."

Reid got out of bed, dealing with the condom, and then went to the bathroom. When he came back, he started to slip back into his clothes.

Emily told him "Hey, what I said before, that's a good thing. You being unlike anyone else is why you're here right now...why I want you here."

"I know," he said, quietly, and kept getting dressed.

She added "Why I want you to stay."

"I thought you don't usually like men to stay the night?"

"You're my exception to every rule."

After staring at her for a long moment he dropped his shirt back to the floor and sat down on the bed, angled so he was still looking at her. "I'm not really good at this kind of stuff. I never have been. In fact, I have never been in this situation before. Is this what Morgan is always talking about? Is this just hooking up?"

"Our jobs don't leave a lot of room for dating."

"Actually, I find there are plenty of hours to fill away from work."

She smirked at him. "Are you saying you want to ask me out on a date?"

He thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Her smile grew. "Well give me a call sometimes and ask me out then." Emily pulled Reid close for a kiss. "But lets not let something mundane like dating get in the way of our steamy, illicit sex life."

She chuckled right before he pressed his lips against hers, and eased her back onto the bed, their limbs tangling together again as they began to share more kisses and caresses.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Six**

**November 2010**

"Where's Prentiss?" Morgan asked Reid, as Morgan strolled up to Reid's desk late one evening at the BAU. The team had just returned from their case in Kansas City, Missouri.

"She wasn't feeling well so she went home." Reid tapped the papers on his desk. "I'm finishing up her paperwork."

Morgan pouted. "Hey, no fair! You never do my paperwork for me."

"Yeah, I do, whenever you sneak it into my pile."

Derek smirked. "True, true, but you're not supposed to notice that. Besides, since you can do it three times as fast as me shouldn't you have three times as much?"

"If I get paid three times as much, okay."

"Sorry, can't help you there," Derek joked. "So what was wrong with Prentiss? She did look a little pale on the plane."

"She said she had a headache. I don't think she's getting enough sleep lately. And she's worried about her mother coming back from her trip abroad in time for the holidays."

"Those two have a weird relationship, don't they?"

"Tense."

"Yeah, well if the ambassador can't make it back here for Turkey Day Prentiss is welcome to come by my place for my annual shindig. I'm planning to deep fry a turkey this year."

"That is the most popular way to set a house on fire during Thanksgiving."

"Relax, kid, I ain't gonna set nothing on fire. So are you gonna rustle up a date for my party?" Derek ruffled Spencer's hair. "Ain't it about time you get yourself some more loving? What's it been? Six months since you and Austin broke up?"

"Nine months, six days."

Derek winced. "Yeah, that dry spell needs to be broken."

Reid slightly blushed and Derek pounced on that reaction by crying "Oh, what is it your hiding from me? Or should I say who? Did you find yourself some hot, sweet punani to keep you warm at night?"

"Punani? What language is that?"

Derek rubbed his head. "Just slang, Reid. Just slang. So who is your sexy mama that gave you some and why is this the first I'm hearing about it?"

"Some things are private, that's all."

"Look at you," Derek grinned "You've got a love struck look on your face. And here I thought you went and got yourself a little thing for Prentiss...wait a minute, you got to be kidding me. You and Prentiss are doing the dirty?"

"Shhh. Keep your voice down."

Derek stared at Reid for a moment. "Kid, I hope you know what you're doing."

"I never know what I'm doing when it comes to women. I'm just not sure...what this is. Its confusing. Can it be something serious or am I just deluding myself because I'm lonely and she's amazing?"

"Only you can answer that but don't blow this off out of fear because who knows how long it might be until the next time something amazing comes along for you, if ever. You can never know what might stick if you don't give it a chance."

"How many times have you ever really given a relationship a chance?"

"We ain't talking about me but what I can tell you is if I had something amazing, I'd do my best to hang onto it." Then Derek mused, as he smirked, "Hmmmm, you and Prentiss, I thought I saw something more there lately. Derek Morgan has still got it. My radar is working just fine. I'm just shocked you two went for it instead of taking the cautious route. Good for you, Reid. Now get back to doing her paperwork." Derek made a sound like a whip cracking, as he stood up.

Reid gave him an confused look. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Go for it, kid." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"If every time I'm with a woman I feel like I could love her, how will I ever know when its real?"

"There's no rule you can only love one woman in your life. Its not about how many you fall for, not at all. Its all about the one you can't let go- the one you fall for over and over every day." With that said, Derek walked off, leaving Reid there thinking about Derek's words.

XXXXXXXXXX

That next day, Reid asked Emily to go to lunch so he could confess. They walked down the street from the building where they worked and went into a small Italian restaurant that was nearly empty at that time of day.

After they ordered their meal and drinks he spit out what he had done. "Morgan knows about us. I'm sorry. He just looked at me and knew."

Emily smiled slightly. "I figured as much. He's been smirking at me all day like he knows something that I don't know he knows. Its okay. The whole world could find out and it wouldn't bother me just as long as it doesn't mess up your career."

"Or yours."

"Right." Her eyes fell.

"So have you told anyone then?"

"No, but I'm a very private person, you know that. Its not because of anything else. I just keep things close to my vest, that's all."

"Sure," he mumbled, not positive she was telling the truth.

All he really knew was his emotions were like a turbulent tornado building up inside of him, growing more and more even though he was hesitant to rush into anything but it didn't feel like a choice at all. It just was happening and the only way to stop it would be to stop sleeping with Emily, something he wasn't willing to do unless she demanded it.

Emily reached out and offered Reid her hand. He put his hand in hers. Their eyes held.

"Reid," she said, in a serious and somewhat sad tone, "I care deeply for you. Probably more than I've ever cared for any man. But I can't offer you anything long term. I wish I could but our lives are in very different places right now."

"What.." he cleared his throat "what are you saying? You changed your mind about dating?"

"All I'm saying is," she sighed and took her hand back "I suck at this kind of stuff so bad."

"What kind of stuff? If you're trying to let me down easy then don't bother because its never easy to be let down."

"I'm not-" she started but the waiter arrived with their drinks. She gave the waiter a strained smile.

After he left she said "I'm not doing that." Her eyes held his. "All I am saying is I think you need to know that I am not expecting us to end up together for the long term because I've always known I'd end up alone. And I'm okay with that. No, its not what I wanted at first but I've come to terms with it and I...don't want to lie to you or myself...but even though this can't last for years, it is still not casual for me." She paused, sitting back in the booth and giving him a long look. "If you can deal with what I've just said, knowing there is nothing long term coming out of this, then I think we could have a fantastic time together still, just as long as we stay in the right now."

"I've always known I'd end up alone too. At best I'd be a serial monogamist, kinda like Rossi but without the legal pieces of paper involved because I can't see myself getting married ever. Marriage is mainly for the making of a family unit, and I already have a family, or the rearing of children, and I never plan to have kids. So there would be no reason for me to get married."

"Sure there would be: love."

"Romantic love is just a chemical trick of the brain, nothing more."

"That's kinda a sad way to think."

"Have you ever been in love where you didn't regret it later?"

"No but-"

"I'm not looking to fall in love, Emily. I just wanted something more than hooking up during cases. I demand to be treated better than that. If that is too much for you to handle then we shouldn't spend anymore nights together."

"I want something more too, very much so."

"For the short term only though, right?"

"I'm sorry I can't offer you anything else. I wish I could but long term just isn't in the cards for me right now."

"At least you're honest."

"Is it enough then?"

"I guess it will have to be."

Emily moved to Reid's side of the booth and he looked startled. He asked "What are you doing?"

She looped her arms around his neck and nuzzled his nose with hers. "Don't you know that this is what couple's do? They embarrass everyone around with their public displays of affection."

She caught his lips in a kiss. At first he was stiff but then he let out a very soft groan and softened, as he wrapped her in his arms and returned her kiss. They kept sharing small kisses and teasing back and forth, lightening the mood, until the waiter brought their food.

Reid was glad that he now knew where Emily's thoughts were but he was slightly sad that she was so sure they wouldn't want to get serious together. He hadn't truly expected she'd ever want to be with him so, he told himself, he shouldn't be upset if she wasn't the type to do long term relationships. He wasn't even sure how he'd feel about her and this in a few months.

But it was a little disheartening to know she was sure: sure that they wouldn't fall in love.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Note- **_I know Emily was kinda cruel last chapter but it was a self protection method on her part. If she doesn't expect Spencer to want her if she has a baby, then she figures she won't be hurt if he says its too much for him. She has it in her mind that she has to do it alone and imagining anything else would be dreaming so big that it scares her, so she refuses to do it._

**Chapter Seven**

**November 2010**

Emily confused the hell out of Reid.

After their conversation at lunch, where they decided to date with the understanding it would just be a short term thing, she acted more touchy and feely than she ever had before during the rest of the meal.

Her eyes were sweet, dark pools of tenderness and teasing as she kept caressing him and sneaking in kisses while they ate their pasta. When they walked back to the office, down the sidewalk a couple of blocks to the building where they worked, she had her arms wrapped around his arm, cuddled close to his side in the cool fall weather.

Reid was left wondering if she had given him that whole "I don't do long term" speech just as some way to protect her own heart, and not as the truth. But maybe that is just what he would like to believe because it meant that she could be wrong about their chances of lasting.

He wasn't even sure what he wanted them to end up being months from now but he just knew it felt odd to go into this already with the mind set it wouldn't work out. Was she this way with every man she dated?

"Emily," he said, as they reached the front of the building where they worked, "I think I have a theory why none of your romances have ever worked out."

She startled and then laughed. "Don't tell me. I'd rather not know."

He told her anyway because he felt it was important. "If you believe something won't work out, it won't every time. You set it up to fail."

"I'm just a realist, that's all. Working out for me is two good dates in a row. I can't look past that because life always gets in the way."

"It does?"

"For me, yeah, but, hey, living day by day can be a lot of fun." She gave him a quick kiss.

He relaxed into the kiss. The wind whipped around them and people were walking by but for Reid, with Emily cuddled to his side, it was as if they were in their own little word.

He asked her "You didn't think it through very well before you acted on impulse and kissed me that first time, did you?"

She pulled back, with a sly smile on her lips, and answered "Au contraire, I thought about kissing you for months before that. That night I just got you where I had already wanted you." She slipped inside the building, leaving Reid there with a confused but happy look on his face.

Emily wanted him to just accept that they would have to be short term but he was not that kind of man. He didn't give his heart knowing it would be short term. He didn't sign up for flings- never had and never would.

So far he hadn't given his heart to her but if that day came he prayed she would forget all her silly notions about ending up alone and give them a small chance to find out if they could end up together.

They deserved that much, a small chance at love being more than a chemical trick of the mind.

XXXXXXXXX

"EP, that is some big smile you have on your lips today," Penelope said when she ran into Emily in the break room after lunch. "Do tell what's got you floating on cloud nine."

"Okay," Emily admitted "there's a man in my life now, its true, but don't bombard me with questions about it." Emily smirked. "I know how you work."

"Oh, yes you do know me all too well!" Penelope squealed excitedly "And, as one of your very best girlfriends, it is my duty to bombard you with questions so I can decipher if this man is up to par for your awesome self. What does he do? What does he look like? I bet he's gorgeous. You would not be smiling like that if he was anything short of awesom-tastic."

"That is not a word."

"Hush, and don't avoid the subject. I'm dying here. Tell me how you stumbled upon a Mr. Perfect when Garci didn't even know there were any contenders vying for your attentions. Ohhhh, are you giving Mick another chance? That accent does make me kinda warm so I wouldn't blame you at all and he did have it bad for you. Is it him?"

"God, no. Mick could never make me smile like this."

"Well I've never known anyone to make you smile like that except our boy genius and I know its not...it is! Emily Prentiss, you secret keeper! I want details."

"Drinks later?"

"I'll call JJ."

Emily walked off with a smile still playing on her lips. When she reached her desk Derek smirked at her and she told him "Don't start," before she got down to doing her paperwork, only sneaking in a small look at Reid, who was already lost in his own paperwork and didn't notice.

XXXXXXXXXX

Emily was sitting in the driver's seat of an FBI issued black SUV a few days later, after the team broke for the night. Spencer was in the passenger seat. They were waiting for the rest of the team to get in so they could go to dinner and then the hotel for the night.

Spencer took out his phone and dialed it. Emily's phone rang. She pulled it out and saw his name on the screen. Looking next to her she asked "What are you up to?"

"Excuse me," he joked "I'm trying to make a call."

She chuckled and answered her phone. Speaking into the phone she said "Hey, I'm busy right now arguing with my co-worker."

"I'm sorry to interrupt that. I'll make it quick. I remember you mentioning that your mother took you to see The Nutcracker when you were eleven and you enjoyed it immensely, right?"

"When did I tell you that? I don't remember telling you that."

"Eidetic memory. I remember what you forget but if I remember it then rest assured it did, in fact, happen."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Would you like to go see The Nutcracker again this year, without your mother this time, which may make it that much more enjoyable."

"I get it. You're calling to ask me on a date."

He teased "A short term date because I know you don't do long term."

"Ha, ha."

"So would you like to go with me?"

"If you spring for the popcorn."

"There won't be any popcorn, sorry."

"Then forget it."

"We can get popcorn afterwards."

"Okay, I'll go then, as long as there is popcorn involved."

"I look forward to it." He disconnected the call.

Emily chuckled and looked at Reid. "That was just silly."

"You said to call you and ask you for a date so I did." His eyes shimmered with teasing as he looked at her.

She couldn't stop smiling, and felt flushed with warmth, as she reached for him and pulled him close for a kiss. Just before their lips would have met the door was opened by Dave Rossi, with Morgan and Hotch not far behind.

Rossi chortled at them, as they both blushed. "Next time hang a sock," he teased before climbing into the SUV.


	8. Chapter 8

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Eight**

**November 2010**

"No morning sickness?" Dr. Kline asked Emily, as Emily lay on the examining table in his office.

"None at all yet. Is that unusual?"

"Every pregnancy is different. Some women make it their whole pregnancy without any bouts of nausea."

"Fingers crossed then that I'm one of them."

"How have you been feeling overall?"

"I get tired more easily now and sometimes I feel a little dizzy but it passes quickly."

The doctor kept asking questions, as he examined her, before telling her that the blood test indicated she was seven weeks pregnant.

"You're due date is July 7th."

"July 7th, wow. It feels so real now, hearing that." She lay there alone...longing to have a friend with her to share the joyous moment but she hadn't told a soul yet that she was pregnant. So she was all alone in this.

It was the way she had went through the whole process of trying to start a family so far and she was prepared to continue on that way, even after her friends knew she was having a baby, because that is the deal she had come to with herself: no expecting anyone to do this with her. She was doing this all alone.

XXXXXXXXX

Emily walked into work with a huge smile on her face. Derek noticed right away and smiled back.

"Lookey at you, you're glowing!"

She stopped short. "No, I'm not."

"Yep, you are. I've never seen you look so happy. Wow, I didn't know that Reid had it in him like that. Is he the reason that smile is on your face? Come on, you can tell Derek Morgan all about it."

"Derek, if you really need to ask what Reid does to keep me smiling then you're not ready to hear about it. Maybe after your next birthday."

Derek laughed. "Oh, its like that, is it? I don't think he could know anything I haven't already mastered and put a spin on too."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Emily strolled off, leaving Derek chuckling to himself and shaking his head over the idea that Reid was an amazing lover.

When she reached her desk she saw Reid sitting at his. She caressed his arm. "Hey."

"How was your appointment with your broker? Did it go well?"

"Yep, great." She smiled and sat at her desk.

"Do you have plans for Thanksgiving yet? Will your mother be in town?"

"No, thank God. She's extending her time in Italy."

"You can join Garcia and me at Morgan's house, if you want."

"Does Morgan actually know how to cook?"

"Garcia helps, a lot. It was really pretty pathetic last year when she was still dating Lynch and went to see his family instead of coming to Morgan's. Morgan just bought a lot of beer and take out fried chicken."

"You're right. That_ is _pathetic."

"This year will be better. He's deep frying a turkey."

"Heart healthy and low cal, yum," she joked.

"If you have other plans that's okay. I just thought I'd mention-"

"Actually, I have no plans. I'll be there. Thank you for thinking of me, Reid."

"Morgan suggested inviting you, actually."

"Oh, well," Emily teased "maybe I should give Morgan the great big thank you I had in mind later on tonight?"

Reid mused "I always did wonder if you had an attraction to Morgan."

"Ha. I have my attention firmly focused elsewhere, if you haven't noticed."

Reid blushed a little.

Emily asked him "Will you come over for dinner tonight?"

"Dinner?" he squeaked a little before clearing his throat. "Sure. Should I bring anything?"

"A go bag," she flirted before getting down to doing her paperwork.

XXXXXXXXX

Reid showed up with a white pastry box, but no go bag. Emily furrowed her eyebrows at him and asked "What do you got there?"

"Chocolate cake for dessert."

She moaned. "I love chocolate." She let him come inside, took the box from him and titled her head up for a kiss. She was still in semi-shock that she got to kiss Reid often now. It made her giddy to know he was attracted to her.

They shared a tender kiss and then she asked him "What will Hotch think when you show up for work in those same clothes tommorow? Cause you know I'm not letting you go home tonight." She armed her alarm and joked "There. Now you're all mine till morning."

He raised both eyebrows. "Actually-"

Emily teased him, sticking out her bottom lip. "Don't make me pout. I will, if you force me into it."

"Actually, no pouting necessary, though...its kinda hot."

"You like that, huh?"

"I left my go bag in my car. I didn't want to presumptuous."

She smiled brightly at him. "I did tell you to bring it, remember?"

"I remember everything, perfectly."

She rolled her eyes. "And never let me forget that fact either." Emily headed for the kitchen. Reid took off his coat and hung it up, before following her.

"I like your new place."

"Thank you. Its not really as great as the old one but the rent there went through the roof and I couldn't see paying all that when I'm hardly home. Plus they don't allow pets and I'm thinking about getting a cat."

"I once thought about getting a dog but I'm not around enough to take care of it. Morgan has a college student as his dog walker but I'm not sure I want someone at my place when I'm not there."

"Yeah, with our jobs, it is hard to trust any stranger that much."

She set the bakery box on the counter and opened it, sniffing deeply. "Mmmm, I don't know what I'm more excited about: eating a piece of this or going down on you later. Hmmm. It's a toss up."

Reid swallowed hard. His eyes raked down her. She was wearing a black strapless dress.

"You look amazing," he complimented her.

"Oh," she said, touched. "Thank you. A woman does like to hear that." Walking close to him she placed her hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes. "I'm really glad you're here. I wasn't looking forward to the holidays this year but if we can spend them together...I can't think of anything better I'd like to do."

He teased "Isn't that a little long term for you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up, you." Emily went to move away but Reid pulled her back to him and crashed his lips against her, giving her a kiss full of possession, making her wonder how in the hell she'd ever give him up in a few months.

This was too good to think about giving up. She just wouldn't think about the inevitable for now.


	9. Chapter 9

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Note- **_This story is going to assume Reid speaks different languages, although not as well as Emily does because he's never had the practice that she has._

**Chapter Nine**

**November 2010**

Spencer Reid could hardly believe this was his life. He woke up to find himself spooning a gorgeous naked woman. He had woken up in similar situations before but he'd never been as comfortable with a woman as he was with Emily. Their deep friendship made him feel okay in his own skin around her.

He gently kissed her shoulder before he started to roll away from her. She jostled awake and grabbed his hand, pressing it against her mid-section, holding him in place.

He was hard and pressed against her ass. Emily ground back against him.

"Mmmm, this is how I like to wake up," she said sleepily, before sucking on his fingers. She loved to kiss his palm, kiss and suck his fingers. Not only was it sensual but incredibly erotic.

He nuzzled and kissed her throat. Once his fingers were wet she moved them to her breasts and moaned when he started to manipulate her nipples.

"Spencer," she cried, using his given name for the first time during sex.

Hearing that sent him into overdrive, desiring to claim all of hers as his in that moment. His mouth settled on hers, kissing her with an intense passion, while his hand slipped down between her legs to stroke her to full wetness. Whimpering in pleasure, she grabbed at the sheets and twisted them beneath her fingers, while arching into his touch. For several minutes he worked her into a state of wet, slippery, dripping readiness.

Emily moaned into Reid's mouth and kept moaning as he broke their kiss. He demanded "Get a condom now."

She reached out and yanked at the bedside drawer, desperately grabbing one before she turned over, opened the package and slipped the condom on him. Hitching her leg over his hip she led him against her, using his dick to stroke her for a minute before he thrust into her. She threw back her head and moaned deeply at the feel of him filling her.

"Damn," she cursed in bliss "so damn good."

Face to face, as they were, they were able to kiss each other and stare into each other's eyes as they made love. Between and during their kisses Emily would whimper, moan and whisper his name over and over again "Spencer, Spencer, Spencer."

The night before, after they had dinner and talked for a couple of hours over a lengthy dessert, they had fast, against the wall sex in her kitchen. That was been amazing. Dress half on but pulled down to bare her breasts to his eager hands and mouth, she had loved how he took her right there and then, down and dirty, before they came upstairs to her bedroom, stripped and curled up together to chat in the dark until they fell asleep. He had rambled on about sexual practices during ancient times while Emily just shook her head at how his mind worked, enjoying playing with the hairs on his chest while it rose and fell with his breathing.

This morning though was more romantic and intimate than last night's intercourse had been. Getting caught up in the moment, Emily confessed, between her moans and breathless whimpers, "God, I've wanted you for so long. Oh, God. Ohhhhhh, Spencer. Yes, yes, Spencer." Her voice cracked with emotion as tears came to her eyes.

He kissed her deeply, soothing her tenderly, as he rolled her on her back, allowing him to now thrust deeper into her. Speaking in Italian he told her "Let go. You're safe with me. I've never felt so close to anyone before, my beautiful heart, my Emily."

She clutched at his back, arching against him, crying in pleasure with tears cascading down her face when she exploded into orgasm, her warm heat milking his dick. Reid cried out with pleasure, stiffening as he came, and then went boneless. As they panted for hair, Emily stroked his hair, her tears wetting his shoulder when she turned her face into his neck.

He rolled to his side, groaning softly at the loss of contact with her, and dealt with the condom. When he came back to the bed she was already starting to get out of bed.

Emily chirped "I call first shower!"

Reid stopped her from jumping out of bed by catching her around the waist with one arm. He gently kissed each tear stained cheek before giving her one more tender kiss on the lips, then he let her go have her shower. Emily felt overwhelmed at all the emotions she was feeling. Standing in the bathroom she placed her hand on her stomach, thinking about if she should tell Reid she was pregnant...but things were still so new between them, as far as being intimate went.

It just wasn't the right time, she told herself. They were both enjoying what they had and things might get strange between them if he knew she was carrying another man's child, planning a whole life that had not much to do with him at all.

No, she didn't want to burst their lovely bubble. She had waited so long to be with him. She couldn't rock the boat now.


	10. Chapter 10

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Ten**

**November 2010**

He couldn't remember ever having such a wonderful Thanksgiving. This year had felt like everything the holiday always should be- filled with love, friends and family.

Spencer Reid knew that the perfection he deemed today to be was because Emily was there with him. Though she didn't want to put labels on what they were to each other- and she swore she couldn't offer him anything lasting- he still knew what he knew: he made her happy and she made him happy. By the end of the evening that is what mattered most to him.

The day had started out kind of awkward though.

They didn't ride to Morgan's home together and when Emily finally did arrive Reid had been there almost three hours already. He had started to wonder if she was going to show up at all. He hadn't wanted to be needy and text her though. He just waited impatiently, helping Morgan to deep fry the turkey and set up the extra tables they would need.

Penelope was the only other team member there that day, the rest of them had plans with their relatives. Morgan had also invited his business partner Jake, who helped him with his properties, and a handful of other random friends who didn't have anywhere else to go that day.

Though Morgan and Garcia already knew about Reid and Prentiss sleeping together, Reid still wasn't sure Emily would want to act any different in front of them so he refrained from greeting her with a kiss, or teasing her in the flirty way they had started to do lately.

They found themselves alone in the kitchen at one point. A quiet stolen moment led to a tender kiss. That seemed to break the ice between them because after that they took every chance they could to touch, hold hands, cuddle against each other and kiss.

Reid was captivated by the way Emily flushed and glowed with happiness more and more as the hours went on. Pride filled his chest at thinking he had a part in her joy, the same way she had a major part in his.

The night they first slept together he had been so surprised that she would want to be with him but now he was thinking maybe she had already felt something he hadn't even known was growing between them.

Something so natural that it shocked him.

Reid pushed to the back of his mind the knowledge Emily didn't want what they had to last very long, that she wasn't ready for anything serious. He tried to reason he didn't care about serious either, just as long as they were both happy with what they had found together. It was still so new that there was no need to contemplate what they may or may want somewhere down the road.

That is what he told himself but what he felt inside, as she cuddled against his side while they hung out on Morgan's couch after dinner, was that Reid wished he could know his life would always feel this complete. That the fear that had always been in him would melt away for good. That he wouldn't have to pretend to like being alone because he wouldn't ever be alone again. He'd always have her in his life, in love with him, making him as happy as he was today.

He never let himself wish for so much with any woman before. He always had felt unsure of if the woman was really right for him, if he was doing things right. This time he was sure she was right and he felt as if he was doing what she wanted and needed most for her, he was giving her the comfort and happiness she ached to know.

If only she would tell him she had been all wrong about them being short term.

XXXXXX

She loved the feeling of resting her head against his chest, listening to his strong and steady heartbeat, feeling his body rise and fall with every breath.

For Emily all holidays usually sucked. She was stuck with her mother who she got along with like oil and water: they just didn't mix well. There was so many expectations on both their parts of who the other should be that they never seemed to get to like who the other really was. And holidays only amplified all the expectations and arguements.

But this holiday was nothing like that.

This year Emily was filled with warm, sweet, tender emotions- content in the knowledge she was carrying her baby and that she had a beautiful, intelligent, challenging genius as her lover. Adding to that being there with two of her closest friends and this Thanksgiving marked her most favorite ever.

Emily couldn't seem to stop smiling as the day wore on. She wondered when she had ever felt this good before but she couldn't pin point a time period in her life that was filled with as much excitement and happiness as the last few weeks had been.

She had always thought her and Spencer could be fantastic together but really had believed it would stay a fantasy. Now she was thrilled it hadn't because no fantasy could live up to the reality of being with him. They had an easy and natural chemistry that flowed between them. In her past she couldn't describe not one of her romantic relationships in those terms. It was as if suddenly she had what she always heard people could find together, but had never experienced for herself before.

It was getting late in the evening but Emily hated to see the holiday end. In the middle of laughing at something Derek had said, Emily let out a loud yawn. Her pregnant body craved more sleep than she had needed in the past.

Covering her mouth she said "Sorry. I think its time I head home and hit the sack."

"I'll walk you out," Reid offered. He stood up and held his hand out to Emily, so she could take it and use it as leverage to pull herself up.

Morgan and Garcia walked them to the door, to get their jackets, and they all said goodnight. Penelope asked Emily "Are you sure you don't wanna take on Black Friday with Garci? The sales are calling your name. I know they are, girlie."

"Not this year. I think I'm gonna stay in bed till its time for work again," Emily joked.

Morgan kidded, with a wink, "Just don't break him. The team needs that big brain come Monday."

Reid blushed a little. Emily gave him a flirty look. "He can hold his own just fine."

After Emily and Penelope hugged, everyone said goodnight and then Emily and Reid walked out into the cool November air. When they reached her car they stood facing each other.

He moved close and she sucked in a shaky breath, anticipating the feel of his lips connecting with hers. In a low, rather forceful tone he told her "I want to see you this weekend."

"That should work out well since I want to see you for every second of this weekend." And it was true. It felt like she could never get enough alone time with him, between their jobs, friends, hobbies and other commitments.

He took hold of her face, titled her head up and stilled for a moment, as they stared each other in the eyes. "How is it that I already feel odd if I can't sleep holding you?"

"Lucky you that you can every night you get the urge. You know where to find me."

_You can...for now,_ is what he heard.

And, in a way, that was great, really great. Knowing she wanted him in her bed was an amazing feeling. When she could have easily said that she didn't want to be held at night. She had told men in her past they couldn't sleep over and she dumped most guys pretty quick, claiming they were just not worth the effort or time. It felt good knowing that she found Reid worth her time and wanted him to hold her every night.

It would just feel better if he knew she was starting to believe in long term.

But it was probably way too soon to have changed her mind on that, if it even could be changed, so he didn't bother to bring it up. Instead he took her mouth in a kiss full of possession, the way he kissed her every time he thought about how he wanted this feeling he was having now to never end.

He kissed her fiercely, trying to convince her that he wasn't about to give up the best thing to ever come his way without one hell of a fight. She might think they were short term but Spencer Reid couldn't see the way he was feeling now fading away like it wasn't important or special.

_I'm falling in love with her,_ he thought as they broke their kiss, and very light snowflakes started to fall on them. He ushered her into the car, going on about the odds of crashing if a person is tired and making her promise to call him the moment she got home.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Reid, I'm not going to crash. And, fyi, gruesome statistics are not good bedtime stories."

"I know," he said, distractedly as he buckled her seat belt. "I can't help worrying, though."

She watched what he was doing with a tender look on her face. "I could have done that myself."

He felt self conscious in that moment. He couldn't explain in words how she had grown to mean so much to him after just three weeks of making love. She would probably think he was confusing sex with love but it was more than sex. They had talked more in the last few weeks than in all the years they knew each other before, and Reid had seen Emily at her most vulnerable. He knew her better now...and what he knew he was starting to fall in love with.

She threaded their fingers together, and then brought his hand to her lips, kissing his knuckles. "I'm so wiped out tonight that if you come over it would really be just to sleep but...if you bring a go bag we could spend the rest of the weekend making up for time lost tonight. What do you say? Tempted?"

Raising both eyebrows, as his brain flooded with images of them making love all weekend at her place, Reid nodded, which brought a sexy little smile to Emily's lips. It felt good to know he was the man who could make her happy.

Now all he had to do was keep it that way so that, as time went on, she was too happy to fall back on her usual M.O. of only having flings. Spencer Reid could not convince himself that any sort of fling would ever feel this perfect.

This couldn't be a simple fling. It just couldn't.


	11. Chapter 11

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Eleven**

**December 2010**

Emily stood in front of a full length mirror, dressed in a long gown with her hair in a updo, and placed her hand on her stomach, trying to decide if there was a small baby bump there. She was just ten weeks along and no where near showing yet but still she checked every angle anyway. But even nude there was nothing to see to tip Spencer off to her hidden miracle.

In this moment she found it hard to believe this was her life. It was just too good to belong all to her. Her life always went to crap, everyone knows that. She had screwed up majorly in every category of her life at some time or another: family relationships, romantic love affairs, school, work, friendships.

And still she worked overtime to get everything she wanted for herself back after each time she messed up her life. Pure determination is what drove her to get anything she had now. She didn't give up on her goals, no matter how hard they were to reach.

Getting a job at the BAU had been tough.

When she left Interpol she seemed to be marked as rogue style agent who had no limits to what she would do to get what she wanted. Emily got assigned to a desk and thought she'd be stuck there forever. Strauss only sent her to the BAU to try and use her to bring the unit down from within. Emily had managed to turn that situation around and ended up loving her dream job and working with people she now considered a family.

Four years later and, as much as Emily didn't want to leave the team, she knew it was time for a major life change.

Her biological clock screamed that if she wanted a child then the time was now. And she did want a child, very badly. She yearned to be a mother now in a way she hadn't in her younger years.

Rubbing her stomach, she murmured "Guess what I'm doing tonight, baby? I'm going to the ballet with Spencer. If he knew about you I'd hear hours of lectures about how you are developing in there. When you meet him he'll be the tall guy who seems to know everything about everything." She softly smiled.

For a moment Emily tried to picture her life a year from now at her baby's first Christmas. Would she be lonely, since she planned to take a couple years away from work to be a stay-at-home mother? Would the baby be healthy? Would they spend the holiday with Emily's mother or with Emily's friends? If Emily could have next Christmas be the one out of fantasies then there would be a night spent curled in front of roaring fire with Spencer rambling on about something or another, while the baby lay on his chest.

But that was just too much to even dream about so Emily quickly walked away from the mirror and into the bathroom to finish her make-up. She wasn't the type to believe in fairytale endings. She already had so much more than she felt she deserved or ever thought she'd get.

She was excited about this date with Spencer, excited about the little life growing inside of her, and excited about the upcoming Christmas holidays that would give her a short vacation from work. There was no need to bring herself down by picturing too far ahead in the future to that vast unknown that she was barreling towards.

It would get here when it got here. For now she wanted to live in and fully enjoy the present.

XXXXXXXXXX

Emily had a tender smile on her lips when she opened the door of her apartment to let Reid in that evening. Her eyes flared with lust as she saw him standing there in a pin striped suit.

One hand was behind his back. He brought it out and revealed a single purple orchid. She gasped and her eyebrows furrowed.

He grew concerned "Oh, are you allergic? I didn't realize-"

"Relax, handsome, nothing a Claritin won't solve." She took the flower. "Thank you. Its lovely, really. I adore flowers. Its just that they don't adore me back." That was a lie but she didn't want to bring up her complicated past that would explain her reaction to the flower.

Emily did her best to push away all the memories the flower had brought to mind, as a cold chill shivered down her spine and goosebumps formed on her arms. She said "Just let me put this in a vase and then I'll be ready to go."

She went to the kitchen and when she came back Reid was still standing in the same spot, nervously rocking on his heels. He looked over her dress and declared "Wow...I mean...wow."

She chuckled. Walking close to him she caressed his arm. "Right back at you. You should dress in suits more often."

"Actually, I'd rather not. Its not really all that comfortable." He yanked on the collar a little.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a slow, sensual kiss. When she broke away she said "Seeing you in a suit makes me want to do one thing and one thing only. Wanna guess what that is?"

"See me out of a suit?"

"Oh, he is a genius after all," she teased as Reid gathered her into his arms even tighter and slanted his mouth over hers for another kiss.

XXXXXXXXX

After going to the Nutcracker, Reid and Prentiss went out for dessert. Reid had picked out a restaurant ahead of time, on Derek's suggestion, that was warm and inviting with candles on each table and rounded booths.

When the waiter came to take their order Reid asked for coffee and Emily said she would have club soda. Reid told her "Feel free to order wine. Just because I don't drink anymore, I wouldn't mind, honestly."

"No, its fine. I'm not in the mood for wine tonight." Once the waiter left Emily moved closer to Reid, snuggling against his side, and let her hand sneak under the table to stroke up his thigh. Against his ear she said "This is what I'm in the mood for tonight."

"That makes perfect scientific sense actually because-"

"Reid," she groaned his name in a playful way.

"Really, you're gonna want to hear this. Its fascinating how our bodies are set up for the procreation of the human race. During the first eighteen months of a courtship hormones that regulate sexual desire spike, making it so that the couple thinks about and desires to engage in sex more often than any other time during their relationship. This is to ensure that they bond and, if all works out, create a child and keep the human race going. After eighteen months hormone levels gradually decrease but because they have a bond and, ideally, a child together that is supposed to keep them united and working together to raise their offspring. Isn't that interesting? Love really is biochemistry at its most sneaky."

Emily smirked. "You're like a walking, talking episode of some show off the Discovery Channel."

"Thank you."

She chuckled. "No wonder the divorce rate is so high, the fun sexy hormones wear off and people are like: what the hell am I doing with you?"

"Not if they're bonded properly."

"I guess that's the trick then," she teased him. "So, Dr. Reid, explain to me how a couple properly bonds to ensure they still can stand each other for the long haul?"

"I have no practical knowledge of it but I've heard good and honest communication is key to a successful, healthy relationship."

"Communication, huh? And what if all they feel like saying to each other is: You get on my last freaking nerve? Would that be healthy communication still?" Emily chuckled.

"Its better to be honest and work through it, if possible, than to hold it in and explode eventually."

"The people on Jerry Springer get pretty honest with each other but it doesn't seem healthy at all," she joked.

Reid looked confused. "On Jerry? Jerry who? And why are they on him? What do you mean?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Forget it." She caressed his face and stared in his eyes. "You are better at this kinda stuff than you give yourself credit for. A lot better than me at it, that's for sure."

"Not possible. I barely know what I'm doing."

"Then you must be a natural," she murmured before softly kissing him.

After they had drinks they went back to his place. Standing by his bed, with just moonlight streaming in the window to illuminate them, they slowly undressed each other and began making love, each kiss and caress gentle and sweet. When they rocked against each other it was in a slow rhythm that built upon itself over long minutes. Their hands intertwined, her mouth sucking and kissing on his shoulder, the only sound in the room was their heavy panting, bodies moving together and the bed creaking.

She cried out in pleasure and arched her back when her orgasm came, this time from deeper inside of her than ever before, and he let out a loud grunt as he stiffened with his release.

A few minutes later she lay with her head resting on his chest. "Tonight was the best date I've ever had." She softly kissed his chest.

He ran his fingers through her hair. "Everyone should be friends before dating. It makes the whole experience much more meaningful. If more people cultivated friendships before pursuing romance I think the divorce rate would fall considerably."

"Maybe but I'm pretty sure its more complicated than just that."

"I know but I think it makes a positive difference, at least it feels like it has to me. In my past relationships...I never felt like this: so comfortable, able to be myself. You knew me so well before we ever kissed ...That's why I still can't get over the surprise that you ever wanted to kiss me in the first place."

She propped herself up so she could look in his eyes. "Why? Do you think that if I really know who you are I wouldn't want you?" She slid up his body until her lips hovered over his. "I do know you and I do want you." She brushed her lips against his. Her voice got softer and more filled with emotion. "And I do love you, Spencer Reid."

Quickly Emily pressed her lips to his and they shared an emotion filled kiss, moaning and caressing each other as he pressed her onto her back. Reid stared down into Emily's eyes for a long moment before he started to tell her, slowly and deliberately, over and over, in at least ten different languages, "I love you."

As she listened to him confess his love in foreign tongues she knew that this was the last man she'd ever feel this way about. No other who might come along later would compare to him. She'd never be loved again like she was loved by him.


	12. Chapter 12

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Twelve**

**December 2010**

They were careful to not touch too much or flirt too often during the day while out of town on a case, keeping it as professional as possible. Only in rare stolen moments here and there did they let their masks fall enough to feel like their true selves, the Emily and Reid who were in love with each other and flying high off the feeling.

While working, though, they were more co-workers than lovers. The balance shifted at the end of each day.

Each night that they were out of town he always came to her hotel room. Since JJ had left the team, and Garcia rarely traveled with them, Emily never had to share her room anymore so they had all the privacy they needed.

It was nights when they were out of town that they would rip each other's clothes off quick and come together in a fury. The days of having to think about work and be near each other but not able to show affection made them feel pent up and desperate to re-establish their connection the first chance they got. They needed to confirm to each other that, yes, they were still more than just co-workers and buddies.

They were lovers who ached for each other's caress and kiss.

This night Emily was particularly frantic. She helped Reid out of his sweater vest. "God, too many layers! What did I tell you about so many layers?"

He quickly yanked off the sweater and the button up shirt underneath it, then went for his under shirt. Emily stripped out of her shirt and bra as fast as possible and they came together, skin to skin, sighing in relief when they got the chance to feel that contact, as their lips found each other, while fingers nestled in hair.

Her hard, pebbled nipples pressed against the rough skin of his chest, covered with very light, coarse hair. Moving together they stumbled back toward the bed until her knees hit it and then they climbed on, still kissing, and lay down. Reid's lips moved down to kiss over her throat and then her breasts, capturing a rosy nipple to suck while his other hand massaged her other breast.

Her body flushed with an ever increasing warmth.

Eager to be completely naked, Emily kicked off her shoes and started to work on her pants. Reid sat up and helped her and then stripped himself of his pants and underwear, while Emily was pulling off her panties. She reached for his dick, stroking it and laying light kisses on it, then licking around the head.

She moaned, laying back, "Oh, God, hurry. Hurry, Spencer."

He got this devilish gleam in his eye and smirked. Doing exact the opposite of hurrying, he started to kiss slowly up her leg and then over her hip, nipping there and eliciting a pleasurable gasp from her, and then over her stomach and back down until he was between her thighs.

She whimpered, as he lay a soft trail of kisses over her pelvic bone, "Please," dragging the word out to be six syllables.

Throatily he asked "Please what?"

She only moaned in response when he stroked a finger against her wetness. He then let his tongue follow the path his finger had, before asking "Please this? Or maybe please this?"

He sucked her clit and her hips bucked up. A loud cry was wrenched from her lungs and it wasn't long before her orgasm overtook her. Before she even calmed down, he had the condom on and was thrust inside of her, with a fast, hard rhythm that pushed her toward her next orgasm at rapid speed.

She met his every thrust as they sped toward their release, not caring at all about finesse, just needing to get there together as fast as possible.

The sounds of their passion mixed and mingled in the otherwise quiet hotel room, her moans growing louder and more high pitched as she got closer and closer to that crest she was striving to reach.

Spencer kissed Emily as her body clamped down on his, stifling her last scream, and kept thrusting for a few more rough strokes until he joined her in climax.

They lay there afterwards too worn out to speak. After he went to the bathroom, they just cuddled together and fell asleep without saying a word, in a comfortable silence brought on by knowing they were both right where they wanted and needed to be that night.

XXXXXXXXXX

Emily woke up to find Reid sitting at the table, writing something on a legal pad. "Oh, there you are."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"I reached for you and you weren't there. I should probably be worried that I sleep like crap if you aren't next to me."

"I couldn't sleep and I thought it might bother you if I was tossing and turning."

"What are you working on? Something for school?"

"A letter to my mother."

"Oh."

After a moment he said "I hope you don't mind that I told her about us."

Emily got a little excited but also a little nervous. "You told your mother about us? Seriously?"

"I tell my mother every important thing about my life that I think she can handle hearing."

"So what did you say about us?"

"The truth, that I'm dating an amazing woman-"

"_Older _woman. Did you tell her that part?"

"No, was I supposed to? Why would she care?"

"Mothers care about that kind of stuff."

"Mine doesn't. She only cares if I'm loved."

Emily titled her head to the side and gave him a tender look. "That's sweet." After that she got up and went to the bathroom, when she came out she walked over to Reid and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, from behind, bending to nibble on his ear.

She told him "I'm going back to bed until the wake up call or another body turns up to start our day extra early."

"I can go back to my room, if the light is keeping you up."

"Reid, its fine, really." She crawled back in bed and snuggled into the blankets, yawning. "I hope you told your mother that you're very loved...because you are." She gave him a small smile before closing her eyes.

A long pause and then Reid said, nervously, "I did, actually, and I also told her that you'd meet her at Christmas."

Emily bounded up. "What? Why would you promise something like that to her? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can not meet your mother. Mothers hate me!"

"That's ridiculous. Who could hate you, Emily? But if you don't want to meet my mother then I'll just tell her you had other plans already, even if we both know it's a lie. I'll lie to my mother for you."

"Nice. Guilt me into it, why don't you?"

"I'm not trying to do that." He walked over to bed and sat down. "Its just that I never wanted my mother to meet any woman I was dating before but I really want her to meet you." He stroked Emily's hair away from her forehead. "I want her to know someone like you could have feelings for someone like me. That a woman who is everything any man could ever want would want me...love me." His eyes beseeched her. "Please?"

Barely audible, she answered "Okay," and right then Spencer gave her a passionate kiss. Emily was not sure about this whole idea but she knew she didn't want to let him down.

Christmas in Vegas, meeting Reid's mom. It couldn't be as bad as spending the holiday with her own family but she worried that Mrs. Reid would take one look at her and say she was all wrong for Spencer and ask what future Emily saw for the two of them.

Emily couldn't even answer that for herself. How could she answer it to Reid's mom?

**Note**- _I can't remember Emily meeting Reid's mother during the show so far. Emily was not part of the team when Reid's mother visited Virginia for the episode called The Fisher King. _

_And when Reid was in Vegas I thought only Rossi and Morgan stayed behind so I think they would be the only people who could have seen Mrs. Reid that trip. But if Emily did meet Reid's mom on the show then, as far as this fic goes, that never happened_.


	13. Chapter 13

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Note- **The first part of this chapter shows what Hotch thinks about Reid and Prentiss hooking up.

**Chapter Thirteen**

**December 2010**

Even after all he had been through, and all the gruesome things he had seen in his life, Aaron Hotchner was still a naturally optimistic man. He may not show his emotions often but he felt deeply. He believed that good would prevail over evil, that loving people deserved happiness and that life, for most people, would have more happy moments in it than sad ones.

These beliefs were challenged daily in his chosen profession.

He saw people after they had suffered the most brutal deaths and he saw the way witnessing that affected his team. Saw how they tended to be careful about letting people too close to them most times. The job got in the way of their love lives, took away their free time, made it so they couldn't kick back and relax like they would if they had a different job.

Knowing all this made Hotch worry for his team. They were each sacrificing so much to do this job. He only hoped they could find a little peace away from work like he found with his son, Jack, and his memories of Haley.

Hotch worried most about the youngest member of their team, Spencer Reid. Though Reid hated to be fretted over, they all did it anyway- in their own ways. Over the years they had all wondered if Reid would ever find a way to his own bit of happiness and peacefulness in his life. It seemed Reid had been struggling for his whole existence to find that.

There were the rare moments when Reid would light up with joy over something that particularly pleased him (like Halloween, obscure facts, ComicCon, chess and poker) but usually there was a look in his eye as if he didn't quite understand this world's ways and didn't quite know where he fit in.

Except lately. This last month Hotch had never seen Reid look more content. It was blatantly obvious at the office Christmas party that Reid was smitten with Prentiss.

They never came out and spoke about it to Hotch, but everyone on the team noticed their growing attraction to each other- the teasing jokes, small touches, lingering looks, and how Reid slept in Prentiss hotel room now instead of his own.

Standing near the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, a small smile tugged at the corner of Hotch's lips. He said to David Rossi "She makes him happy."

"A good woman can do that for a man. That's even more especially true for a lonely man. Plus there's no denying how special she is. She could make any man happier. He's lucky he's the one she's got eyes for." After a moment Rossi asked "Think they'll last?"

"Who can say?" But Hotch hoped they did. He liked to believe that happiness could be found and

held onto, no matter how often Hotch saw happiness ripped apart right before his eyes.

"Want some eggnog? I heard Garcia spiked it."

"I have paperwork to do later. Better not risk it. I wouldn't want to end up writing to Strauss how I really feel about her in my next report."

Rossi laughed. "That would be some Christmas present to me, if you did that. Just to see the look on her face."

Hotch let out a chuckle. Christmas could be a very hard time of year, especially when grief seemed to be a constant shadow over a person, but this year would be a little easier than the last, and next year a little easier still. He was hopeful, for himself and his team. He had to be. Or else he wouldn't get out of bed in the morning because what would be the point.

Aaron Hotchner, unofficially since his job prohibited him from officially doing so, was rooting for his two team members to keep making each other happy. It was good to see them both with their eyes bright with joy. That look didn't happen often enough for either Reid or Prentiss but now it was there every time they glanced at each other.

And Hotch knew the feeling that caused that look was what life's sweetest moments were inspired by: gentle, forgiving, wondrous, confusing, heartfelt love.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_Just tell him you don't want to do this_, Emily thought over and over during that month, whenever talk of their trip to Vegas was mentioned. _He'll understand_.

But she knew he wouldn't. If she didn't go and meet his mother Reid would be hurt. And the very last thing Emily wanted to do was hurt the man who she loved, the man who treated her better than any other man ever had, the man who made her heart race faster and wilder than she'd ever known before. She had been surprised she could feel all that for good friend Reid, when the feelings first started, but now it was just natural.

There may be no explanation why it was Spencer Reid and not Mick Rawson or some other man from her past but it wasn't any of them. It was Reid who took her there, and only Reid who ever could inspire so much emotion in her, of that she was sure.

So she couldn't let her fear and worry keep her home in Virginia, separated from him on Christmas.

That didn't stop her from freaking out at the thought of going, though. It was hard to articulate aloud properly just why she didn't want to make the trip with him. It was just a general bad feeling she had about meeting his mother. Her own mother expected so much from her, and she always felt as if she didn't rise to Elizabeth's expectations. If she couldn't please her own mother, how could she possibly hope to please his?

And how could she tell Mrs. Reid that Emily would take care of Spencer, loving him the way he deserved, when Emily wasn't even sure they had any chance of staying together?

She got pregnant before she ever slept with Reid. Made a decision that would change everything. Her life would be about her baby. Reid never signed up for that kind of life. She couldn't just drag him into all that, could she? Was that fair at all?

A baby was a huge, life changing thing. It wasn't a situation that one person could just thrust and force on another. A person should be able to know the score and make their own decisions. Emily had let herself be convinced Reid wouldn't be ready for a kid in his life and their relationship would end when he learned she was pregnant- not with a fight, but with a conversation that was honest about the fact that they were going in different directions.

Lately she'd been fantasizing he would want to be a part of the baby's life. Fantasies were dangerous things though. She often silently scolded herself for building up her hopes like that. It wasn't very smart. It would just make it all hurt more later if he was scared off by her being pregnant.

_If we're not even gonna date for more than another month,_ she told herself_, Why do I have to meet his mother_?

Because Reid wanted it. And Emily, whenever she looked in his sweet eyes, just couldn't deny him this one favor he had asked of her.

The weeks leading up to there trip were filled with dates, shopping for presents, weekends spent in bed, cases that horrified them and nights in hotel rooms comforting each other with sex before falling into an exhausted sleep. The effects of the pregnancy were starting to be felt in small ways by her- her breasts getting more tender, some heartburn, having to pee more often than usual. She tried to hide the symptoms as best she could so she could keep her secret a little longer.

That became even harder on the plane ride to Vegas. She spent a good chunk of it in the bathroom throwing up. It wasn't the flying that got to her, but the odd odors on the plane. She gagged on the weird food smells that kept hitting her from people who brought food aboard with them.

Reid grew concerned about her. He sprouted off facts about the unhealthiness of the air on airplanes, which led to germs being transmitted to people.

"Enough, enough," Emily muttered, to try and make him stop, before resting her head against the window of the plane.

He offered her a tums. She gave him a sad smile and took it, chewing it and swallowing. "Don't worry. I just need a nap and I'm sure this will pass."

"A nap is no cure for someone suffering from influenza."

"I don't have the flu...um, I just don't fly commercial well and this has been a bumpy flight."

"Not especially."

She gave him a look as if he was so wrong. "I just need to rest my eyes, okay?"

He nodded. Emily lay back and try to rest, praying that she wouldn't wake till they landed. Suddenly her seat was kicked by a small child who was sitting behind her. She jerked forward and opened her eyes, groaning softly.

She was surprised when Reid asked the parents to please keep their kid from doing that again because "my girlfriend isn't feeling very well and needs her rest."

It was the first time Prentiss heard Reid call her that term. A small smile came to her lips as she snuck a peek at him before closing her eyes again.

Girlfriend. She liked it.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm sorry I have to leave you when you're not feeling well." They were now checked into their hotel room.

"Its fine, Reid, really. I'm just gonna rest some more. All you'd do if you were here is watch me sleep."

"When I was sick as a child I liked my mother to read to me and stroke my hair. It was comforting."

"Aw, that's sweet but I don't need that. Besides, I prefer my memories of us in bed together to be a lot sexier than me feeling like I'm about to hurl." She smiled. "Go ahead and go visit your mother. Tell her I look forward to meeting her."

Reid smirked. "So, in other words, lie?"

"I do look forward to meeting her. I just don't look forward to her meeting me."

"That makes no sense at all."

"Feelings don't have to make sense, they just are."

"Sounds like something you'll use to get out fights in the future."

She laughed and they lay back on the bed. "It's the truth. If that benefits me in a fight, well then, lucky me."

He walked over to the bed and sat down. "Would you like me to bring you back anything?"

"I'll order room service if I get hungry."

"Some medicine?"

"I'll text you if I decide I want any. I'm feeling better already. The fresh air helped and being off that stuffy, loud, smelly plane sure didn't hurt either."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek, before whispering in Russian, "Sleep well, my beautiful heart," which was his pet name for her. She had never been called anything remotely that romantic or unique by any other man and she knew she'd never would find anything man who professed his love in the way Reid did.

They shared a long, tender look before he left the hotel room.

Emily lay there alone and thought about how this was the first Christmas in years when she would spend it being in love with someone. It made every moment that much more special to her. She had found herself staring out the window of the rental car as Reid drove them from the airport to the hotel and taking in every decoration for the holiday as if it was magical and not gaudy.

She never wanted to forget a moment of this holiday: the Christmas she knew she was really loved.


	14. Chapter 14

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**December 2010**

When Reid returned to the hotel room he was happy to find Emily was awake and looking much better than she had earlier. He had been disappointed when she got sick during the flight to Vegas, knowing she had no problems with air sickness so it must be a virus.

He didn't want their trip to his hometown ruined by her being ill, plus he hated to see her suffer.

She might not realize it but she made him incredibly happy- all because she treated him like a grown, capable man who she was turned on by. It took nothing more. Still it felt miraculous. He had found other women who saw him that way before during his life but none who inspired him to feel so comfortable with her.

All his life he worried that the new people he met would find him strange or odd, even women who wanted to date him. With Emily, she already knew all his idiosyncrasies. She knew he was different but she must like that because she was the one who kissed him first, who said she had fantasized about him for months, who was happier now that they were dating than he'd ever seen her before.

And she made him feel the same by just treating him as the man who was all she wanted. He'd never felt that way before, never had any eyes look at him the way Emily's did.

He found her that night on the hotel room bed, dressed in a pajama pants and a t-shirt, watching Christmas movies. She lit up when she saw him and cried "Oh, you got back in time for the best part!"

He looked at the screen and saw a little boy with his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. "What is that?"

"You've never seen _A Christmas Story_?"

"No."

"It's a classic! Get over here and watch with me."

Reid peeled off his coat and kicked off his shoes, before joining Emily on the bed. They cuddled and watched the movie. During the commercial she asked "So how was seeing your mother?"

He smiled. "She was having a good day. We talked about what she's reading now and she bugged me about changing jobs before telling me I need to eat better because I'm too skinny. Do you think she's right?"

"You do have strange eating habits. You know your lactose intolerant but you just can't stay away from cheese."

"You're right, I can't. Its too good. Its not a big vice to have anyway, all things considered. My mother said she'd confuse me with a bean pole if she wasn't properly medicated though."

She chuckled. "Well I'm glad you had a nice visit with her. So what time did you tell her we'd be by tommorow?"

"The facility's Christmas program starts at three."

"Sounds good. Maybe I can get in some gambling before we head over there."

"Do you think that's wise?" he teased.

"Hey, I beat you more often than you beat me when we play poker so don't go getting cocky," she teased back.

"Actually I win eighty one point six percent of the time."

"I seriously _doubt_ that."

"As a certified genius with an eidetic memory, who should know better: me or you?"

"Ha. You think you can fool me by playing the genius card, don't think so."

He smirked at her. "Are you saying you think I'd lie to you?"

"Rather than admit I regularly kick your ass at poker, yeah, I do."

"You're right. I probably would but I'm not."

"Sure. I believe you." She laughed. Wrapping her arms around his neck she teased some more "Will it crush your fragile male ego when I win more than you at the tables tommorow?"

"Nope cause statistics are on my side."

"You keep telling yourself that," she joked with him before bringing her lips to his for a kiss.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Emily stood in front of the mirror, dressed in a silk blouse and black skirt, and appraised her appearance critically. Reid walked up behind her and said "Don't worry, you look great. You always do."

She smiled a little. "Thanks." She took out her dangling earrings. "I think I'll wear the studs instead."

"It doesn't matter."

"Maybe not to your mother but it would to mine."

"Appearances are important to your mother. Intelligence is important to mine- and honesty, kindness. She thinks all her doctors are idiots and out to get her. If she says anything like that to you...or about you...don't let it get to you. In fact, don't try to dissuade her. I'll handle it. There's a certain way you have to speak to my mother in order to not set her off."

"It'll be okay."

He crooked an eyebrow. "You reassuring me after you've spent weeks dreading this? My mother would appreciate your desire to comfort me and so do I, Emily." They left the room shortly after and drove to the facility.

Before they exited the car Reid told her " No matter how this goes, I know it wasn't a mistake to bring you along on this trip. I need my mother to know you. All my life she worried if I'd ever be okay. I want her to meet the woman who made it so I am."

Emily titled her head to the side and gave him a dreamy look. A long moment passed.

Reid asked "Are you ready?"

"Kiss me for good luck."

"Kisses can't convey any sort of mystical power that would bring you good fortune."

"Shut up and kiss me," she teased. He leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss, her hand caressing his face as he did so. After he pulled back she whispered "Lets do this."

They exited the vehicle, took each other by the hand and headed into the facility.

Soon they were seated with Reid's mother in the day room, where there would be a Christmas pageant before the facility served a buffet dinner.

Diana greeted Emily by giving her an appraising, suspicious look and saying "So you're the one who is taking Spencer's attention away from his studies?"

"Mother," Reid said quickly "she doesn't do that. I'm going to receive my next Ph. D right on schedule."

"After that I certainly hope you get a teaching job. You know you can't trust the government-"

"I know you don't but I do and I enjoy my job. Mom, don't you want to ask Emily about her interests? She came all this way just to meet you."

"You made her," his mother accused.

"No, I didn't. I can't make her do anything. She's here because she cares about me and that means she wants to know where I come from and that's you. You have been the greatest influence in my life."

Diana gave Reid a tender look. "That is a mother's role, to influence and guide her children." Diana peered at Emily sharply "Do you want children?"

"Me? Um, me? Do I want kids?" Emily asked nervously. "Yes." She gulped. "Very much so."

"Spencer doesn't want children because of my bad genes."

"Mom, that isn't why. I just think that I wouldn't be a very good parent with my work schedule."

Diana said "You would be a wonderful father. You're more than just extremely intelligent, son. You're also wise. A good father has to be wise." She looked at Emily. "Don't you agree?"

Her throat felt dry when she said "Yeah, definitely."

Diana asked "So, not to be blunt, but why are you two together if you so clearly want different things?"

"Emily doesn't want kids right this second so its not an issue."

"At her age, she can't wait much longer. You know me, Spencer, I do not sugar coat things for you. It won't benefit you in the long run if I treated you that way. Not that I'm saying I disapprove of this relationship, as I see it does mean quite a lot to you and it must also mean a good deal to her, since she came all this way to meet me, but I just want you to think of these things before you find yourself in a world of hurt."

Reid looked around and said "I think the show is starting any minute now. We should get seats." They all moved from the couch they were on to the rows of chairs that were set up.

After the lights went down and the show started, Reid looked at Emily and mouthed "I'm sorry," since his mother had been rather rude to her.

"Its okay," she mouthed back, feeling flushed and dizzy, a feeling she was used to now that she was pregnant. The bouts came and went, all she could do was get through them the best she could.

During the show they held hands. Later they ate dinner and chatted more with Diana. She started to warm up to Emily after Emily got her in a conversation about philosophy.

Before they left Diane grabbed Emily's arm and leaned close to her "Be good to my son. He loves you. I know that not just because he wrote me so in his letters but because I can see it in how he looks at you. He never loved any of the others. He said he did but he's a man. They often confuse love with the pleasurable feeling that comes from companionship and sex but love is more. Its sacrifice and commitment and knowing there's a chance you'd break if they left you. He loves _you _with his true and pure heart. Don't hurt him or I'll-"

Reid quickly cut in "Mom, she's not going to hurt me."

"I'm not going to," Emily promised. "I love him too. I love your son with all my heart."

"Its actually your brain that triggers feelings of love or disdain," Diana corrected.

"Right, right," Emily said.

Reid said "Lets get you back to your room." He helped Diana there and then came back to meet up with Emily.

She said "I see where you get it from."

"What?"

"Your personality."

"You think I have my mother's personality?"

"Sorta. Its cute."

He just gave her a strange look and sighed. "That didn't go very well."

"It went fine. I like her a lot."

"She's hard to deal with. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea."

"I enjoyed meeting her. It helped me to understand you better."

"It did? Like how?"

"Well when you met my mother did you see why am like I am?"

He thought about it. "Oh."

She smirked. "Oh." And then gave him a soft kiss. "Lets get out here."

"Want to go gamble some more?"

"Nope." She smiled as she took his hand and pulled him down the hall, toward the exit. "I have something better in mind." The tone of her voice told him that they would be heading straight to bed. His smile told her that was just fine with him.


	15. Chapter 15

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**December 2010**

They spent their last day in Vegas going around to see sights from Spencer's childhood: the home he grew up in, the schools he attended, the baseball field where he played Little League. As they walked around a park that he used to go to often when he needed to get out of the house and away from the stress of his mother's illness, Spencer pointed out a spot on sidewalk.

"Right there is where I gave up skateboarding for good."

She chuckled. "I'm guessing you took a bad fall."

"Yeah, and right in front of a group of high school girls. I was already in college but they were older than me."

"And one fall made you give it up?"

"I should have never gotten one in the first place but I figured I wasn't good at organized sports but maybe I could use physics to figure out how to skateboard. But I could barely stay on the thing for more than a minute at a time."

"I was into sports when I was in grade school but then I became one of those teens that didn't do much of anything. I was too busy being cool and trying to appear unaffected, like I didn't give a crap about anything. I went through this Sylvia Plath period." She laughed at the memories. "I think I did most of the things I did back then just to piss off my parents- smoking, drinking, having sex too soon. It was all rebelling against them for what I deemed my sucky life because we didn't live in the States most of the time."

"When did you finally get over that?"

She joked "Who says I have?"

"You're a very successful woman. You aren't still rebelling against your mother's rules."

"In some ways I am. She so badly wanted me to live one kind of life. To run in the same circles she does. To care about crap that I'll never care about. To get married by now. To have children but have nanny so the kids didn't interfere with the career and the social obligations I was supposed to have. Everything she wanted for me I made sure I did the exact opposite. I won't let her control my life ever again."

"Isn't she still controlling you since you feel you can't even consider doing anything that would please her, even if it pleases you too?"

"Are you profiling me right now?"

He thought about it. "I don't think so. I'm just asking the questions that come to mind."

She sighed. "Maybe you're right but it just burns me that she thinks if things aren't done her way then I'm a failure."

"Does it matter what she thinks or does it matter what you think?"

"I don't care what she thinks. I haven't since I was a teenager."

"So you aren't still trying to prove yourself to her?" He didn't wait for an answer before saying "I've seen my father one time since he left me and still I think I'm trying to prove something to him, to this man I may never see again, someone who shouldn't matter anymore but he always will. Parents have this weird hold on us and until we come to terms with them we can't really get over our childhoods. I'm not over mine and it doesn't seem like you're over yours yet either, Emily."

"So what are you saying? I should have called my mother yesterday for Christmas?"

"Maybe calling her would be easier than feeling guilty about not calling for the next year."

"She makes me feel bad about myself and I don't want to allow her to do that anymore because I'm finally in a place where I feel pretty good about my life. I don't want her to take that away from me with just one mean comment or backhanded compliment."

After a moment thinking about it Reid said "Okay."

"Just okay? You aren't going to say I should grow up and figure out a way to deal with my mother finally?"

"No, I'm not going to say that. Its not for me to say. I just wanted you to know that you have someone to talk to about all those feelings. I know it's a touchy subject but keeping it inside just lets it fester, like my feelings about my father did. So the next time you have to deal with your mother, just remember you have someone right here to vent to. Just know you can tell me anything. I'll always listen to you, Emily."

She hugged him. They stood there in the park just holding each other. Emily loved the feeling of knowing he had her back, no matter what.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

They agreed to not exchange Christmas presents until they returned home because they couldn't take wrapped gifts on the plane. The first night they were home they ended up at Emily's apartment.

She was exhausted from the flight and he wanted to get some reading done for his course work so she took a nap, laying with her head on his lap, while he read his books. Later that evening they made some dinner and they finally got around to opening their gifts.

Emily lifted hers and gently shook it. "Hmm, too small to be a book. Too soft to be jewelry. I'm guessing tickets to a play."

He rose his eyebrows at her. "You're not on much of a role with being lucky lately."

She laughed. "Oh you suck! I told you that we're never again to mention my losses at the poker tables. Keep it up and you're going to have to be punished."

"What would that involve?"

"Oh! You have such a dirty mind." She leaned forward and flirted with him, dropping her voice low, "Believe me if I punish you, you will end up sorry when its over."

"Hmmm. I'd still like to test the theory."

She laughed again and then set about opening her gift. Once she saw what it was her mouth gaped open and she breathed out his name in an awed tone. "Reid..."

"I asked myself what you could use the most and I think it's a vacation. I know we just got back from one but seeing family isn't always that relaxing. I know you were worried about meeting my mother so it might not have been the best time for you.."

He had given her two open ended tickets to Greece, meaning she could go at any time she wanted.

"Reid, thank you. This is too much though. It had to be really expensive. I can't believe you did this."

"Both those tickets are yours to do what you want, Emily. You don't have to invite me to join you but I'd like it if you did."

She gave him a look of wonder for a long moment and then started crying. "Crap! I'm sorry. Its just my hormones. Stupid female hormones."

"Did you know there is a difference between the tears a person cries over slicing an onion than over being emotional? When emotion triggers tears there is an increased amount of prolactin, andrenocoriticotropic, leu-enkephalin and potassium."

She chuckled and wiped her eyes. "Fascinating, really. I don't know how I lived so long without knowing that." She leaned close and gave him a short kiss. "Thank you. Now I feel stupid for the gift I got you though."

"Don't. I gave you those tickets because I want to go away with you, not to make you feel like you have to give me something expensive back."

"Good because your gift was pretty cheap compared."

He shook the box. "Sounds like it has a lot of pieces."

"Lets hope you didn't break them just now," she teased.

He opened the box and found a board game. It had a wooden box and small colored gem like pieces. Reid lit up.

Emily rolled her eyes. "I was hoping you'd never heard of this game. I wanted to introduce you to something new."

"I've never played but I'm familiar with Mancala. Similar to chess in Western cultures and Go in Asian ones, this game is typically found in the Middle East."

"I remember playing it with my nanny when I was nine. I wasn't very good but I bet it won't take you long to master it."

He smiled at her. "Thank you, Emily. I can tell you really put thought into this and got me something you knew I'd enjoy."

"Better than the scarf I got you last year?"

"That's a great scarf. I wear it all the time."

"I should have just given you a picture of me in only panties." She smirked at him. "Then maybe we'd have gotten here even sooner."

"That would have been rather shocking."

"You would have probably fallen right out of your chair and wondered what the hell is wrong with me."

"I don't think I would have wondered. A picture of a woman in her underwear is a pretty clear sign. Even I could get that one."

"Oh well I couldn't have done that last year because you were still with Austin then and I was still trying to pretend to myself I wasn't jealous that she got to be with you."

"I had no idea you had feelings for me like that back then."

"I didn't really admit it to myself till you and Austin were done but I had feelings for you for a long, long while, Reid."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

She smiled. "I did try flirting with you, I will have you know."

"When?" he asked, skeptically.

"Lots of times."

"You must not have done a very good job because I never noticed."

She pushed playfully at his arm. "Well you are Mr. Oblivious."

He smiled slightly and took her hand. "It would have been nice to be together sooner but I think everything happened at the right time for us."

She looked away. "Sure." She gave him a weak smile. "Hey, I'm starving. How about we go get some dessert?"

"You're starving? We just ate dinner."

"Starving for chocolate." She leaned over and nibbled his ear. "Please. I'll make it worth your while if run out to the store for me?"

"I thought you said _we_ were going to get dessert," he teased. "Now we suddenly turned into _me._"

"Your half of we is going."

"Semantics."

"Please, you know how I feel about chocolate."

"Okay, yeah. I'll go."

"You rock! Seriously." She told him what kind of ice cream she wanted and he left. After he was gone Emily looked at the airplane tickets and welled up again. Already she was aching for them to one day go on their trip to Europe together, but that would mean she would have to put her faith in Reid to stand by her side through motherhood.

For Emily it was hard to trust anyone with all of her hopes, fears, dreams and heart. Right then she really did want to believe that Spencer Reid was the man who she could give that much trust to though.

XXXXXX

Note- _The next chapter finally brings Spencer into the loop about the pregnancy. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this fic so far. Your reviews are the driving force behind me writing this_.


	16. Chapter 16

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**January 2011**

He always tapped the floor in rapid rhythm with his foot when he was worried about something. Currently he was doing just that, while waiting for the team to come down to the hotel lobby, when Derek walked up and interrupted Reid's thoughts.

"What's bugging you, kid?"

Reid startled and looked up. "Oh! Morning." He looked around and made sure they were alone.

"God, you're jumpy. Too much caffeine this morning? Or did you and Prentiss have some kind of lover's spat?" Derek chuckled. "Don't worry. Just tell her you were all wrong for whatever it is cause, believe me, that's all they wanna hear, whether its true or not."

Reid spit out his words in a jumbled, rushed way. "I think she could be pregnant."

Derek's eyes widened. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave Reid a serious look, indicating he was listening.

Reid went on "She has some symptoms but she insists they all come from something else."

"Do you think she suspects or she's in denial?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm the one making something out of nothing. I'm just worried about her. Pre-natal care is very important for a developing fetus and if Emily is pregnant but delays finding out the fetus will miss out on important nutrients that come from the vitamins she would be prescribed. But I don't know if I should say anything or take a wait and see approach."

"She's gonna notice something is up with you. You're practically coming out of your skin. How long have you suspected?"

"I noticed some things when we were in Vegas for the holidays but lately there seem to be more definitive signs and its becoming all I can think about."

"You could be a father. Yeah, that would be all I could think about too if I was in your shoes. You gotta have a talk with Prentiss. If its nothing then you two can laugh it off."

"What if she doesn't find it so funny? It's a touchy subject for her. Anytime children come up in conversation she thinks about her mother and her own childhood and its upsets her for hours."

"You know Prentiss, she would not want you to couch your words around her. Just ask her if she could be pregnant because if you don't she's gonna wonder why you're acting so weird around her and that ain't gonna be good for the thing you two got going on."

"You're probably right."

"So what do you feel about this? Excited? Scared?"

"I know that it would change the rest of both of our lives and that does cause me some anxiety yet I can't help but feel..."

"What, kid?"

"Hopeful. I never expected to be a father."

Derek smiled at Reid and Reid gave him a small smile back. Soon Rossi and Hotch came off the elevator and their conversation turned to where they would eat breakfast. Seaver joined them and asked about Emily.

Emily showed up last, looking a little pale, and apologized, saying she caught the flu at the elementary school they had went to the day before to talk to a teacher about a missing student.

Reid took note of the fact that Emily's nails were bitten down to nearly nothing and each day seemed to make her a little more frazzled than the day before.

If she was pregnant, he bet she had a pretty good idea it was a possibility. Or else maybe she was sick with something else. That thought sent a cold chill through him. Whatever was going on, even if she was just stressed out, they needed to talk about it.

Ignoring it wouldn't make it better. And being the man in her life meant it was up to him to try and make anything he could better for her, to let her know she always had his support and love. It would be a hard thing to bring up but Reid set his mind to asking Emily is she could be carrying their baby.

XXXXXXXXXX

Just as her first trimester came to an end- and Emily knew it was time to inform her boss and team members (not to mention her boyfriend) that she was pregnant- the dreaded morning sickness she had avoided for the most part up until then flared up on her.

For the last week she had spent each morning with her head over the toilet and all day feeling like crap. Often she rushed to the bathroom to either pee or throw up. She was worn down and stressed out over the fact that she couldn't keep her little secret a secret much longer.

She looked awful and felt worse. As soon as she got back to Quantico she would make an appointment with her doctor to see if this was normal and also to get some anti-nausea medication, that is if she was still being affected by the morning sickness then. She was hopeful it would leave her just as quickly as it had come on.

If she had to suffer like this much longer she would need an IV for fluids because she would be completely dehydrated.

At first it had seemed she would breeze through this pregnancy but lately it was beginning to take a toll on her and she knew the next five or six months would only increase the physical demands on her body. Lately she was chomping at the bit to tell someone she was pregnant- like Garcia or JJ. But, on the other hand, she knew once they knew that the whole team would quickly know too. Her girlfriends could keep secrets but once the dam opened there was no way to know when the news would slip out somehow and spread like wildfire.

She knew she should tell Spencer first but that meant having the conversation she had been avoiding since the first time they kissed. The conversation where he would tell her if he could handle dating a pregnant chick and then a mother. Whatever answer he would give would change her life and knowing that had her nervous.

It scared her to think she could actually have a future with him and also scared her to think that she would have to relearn how to get along without dating him- no one to hold her at night, no one to share the bathroom with in the morning and no one to listen to her rant after talking to her mother on the phone, no man to love her, no man to be her best male friend.

When they first got together she had thought if she didn't ever let herself hope for keeping him in her life then it would hurt less when she had to let him go but now she knew that had been foolish, twisted logic- something she told herself to make herself feel safe back then but it hadn't even been true.

Each day that week Emily worked himself up to telling Reid she was pregnant, biting her nails into nothing with worry, and each day she kept her mouth shut, tossing and turning the night away next to him in bed and feeling like her time was running out.

Every time Reid asked her if she was okay she swore she was fine, make up some excuse for her symptoms, but she couldn't do that the night he asked her "Could you be pregnant?"

They had just gotten home from a case in Milwaukee. The whole flight home she had slept. Her body seemed to crave sleep just as bad as it craved ice cream and hot pretzels with melted cheese- something she rarely ate in her life before getting pregnant but now the pretzels at the stand on the corner near their job called her name every day she was at the office.

Emily's mouth went dry, after Reid asked his question, and she just stared at him with wide eyes. His words repeating in her mind _Could you be pregnant_?

He went on, rambling for a minute about a whole host of symptoms she had from tender breasts to nausea to increased urination, becoming sick over certain smells, heartburn and mood swings.

She nibbled her bottom lip and didn't answer him.

He went on "If you are then its important to see a doctor and be prescribed pre-natal vitamins because birth defects can form if a fetus goes without certain nutrients in the earliest stages of development." For another minute he named off some birth defects and then said "And if you're not pregnant then forgive me for even asking but I care about you and I felt I had to ask, for your sake and the sake of the baby you might be carrying."

He stared into her eyes for a moment, his gaze so earnest and honest that it hurt her to know she hadn't given him the same honesty all along.

Reid spoke again "I could go out and get a home pregnancy test for you. I think its important to see, one way or the other, don't you? Or do you already know? Or am I just imagining things? Maybe being with a woman I love is making me subconsciously desire children. The desire to procreate is a fundamental drive in all animals, ensuring the continuation of the species. I suppose I could be just as vulnerable to such feeling as anyone else, though I never have felt that way in the past and I know I'm not imagining your symptoms...Emily?"

"I don't need a test."

"Are you sure because all the signs seem to be present to indicate you're gestating?"

"I'm sure."

Reid took her hand. "If I'm wrong then I'm sorry for bringing this up."

"You aren't wrong..."

He raised an eyebrow. A moment of hushed silence passed before Emily finally added "I'm pregnant."

She watched his eyes for a reaction while thinking about how she had always planned to raise this baby alone but now she wanted to do everything she did in her life with him. She just didn't know how to, or if she really had any right, to ask him for that kind of commitment.


	17. Chapter 17

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**January 2011**

_I'm pregnant,_ her words repeated over and over in his mind. _I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant_.

His fast working brain exploded with images of the future: this child that he had just started to imagine could exist and now Spencer Reid knew his child wasn't just an illusion but a reality. He thought that he had prepared himself for this possibility but knowing it was something that could be possible and knowing it was happening were two entirely different things.

He could barely contain all his thoughts of excitement over the moments he could share with his child and also his fears over the health and well being of this little person that he and Emily would be responsible to raise.

Staring into Emily's eyes, as they sat there on her couch, Reid could see how worried she was over what his reaction would be. He took her hand.

"Its okay," he rushed to assure her. "I mean...I know we're not really prepared for this and we were taking precautions so it wouldn't happen but statistics show that even with perfect condom use there is a two percent a year pregnancy rate among women who use condoms as their sole method of contraception. With typical use, its closer to fifteen percent a year. So things like this happen and its not because we were reckless. Its okay to be scared. I'm scared too. I never thought I'd be a father. I never planned to-"

"Reid-"

"Have any kids because it just didn't seem, with all the factors added in, a wise move to contemplate but that doesn't mean I am not happy about this baby: our baby, Emily." He stroked her hair away from her face and cupped her cheek. "If you're scared you can tell me. Its natural to freak out over an unexpected pregnancy but I know together we can do anything. Just look at us...we've come so far so fast." His voice grew thick with emotion. "You wanting to be with me is the best thing to ever happen to me and I'm so glad it's you...it's you who is the mother of my child. We made this baby together and together we can handle anything that comes-"

"Reid, stop! Just stop!" She jumped up and started to pace.

His eyes went wide as he watched her. "You're...you're having this baby, aren't you? I'm sorry. Did I assume too much? I don't mean to pressure you. I'm not saying this decision isn't yours. I just thought...you said you want kids very much. Have you changed your mind?"

Her hands raked through her hair. Her expression was a mix of pure anguish and total fear. "You don't understand."

He stood and went to her. Speaking softly, trying to comfort her, he said "So help me understand. How do you feel about being pregnant? How long have you known?"

Their eyes held and she struggled to find words.

Reid went on "Its okay that you didn't tell me the moment you suspected. That's just how you are. You sit with things until you are ready to share them. I'm not mad. You can tell me everything now. Tell me what you think about all this. There is no wrong thing to say, just the honest truth."

With her lips barely moving she whispered "This isn't your baby...I'm sorry."

"What?" he asked, in shock and confusion, his tone disbelieving. "I don't understand. How could that be possible?"

With teary eyes, she went to open her mouth "I-" but he cut her off.

Anger and hurt laced his words "You were with someone else? You cheated on me?"

"No! Reid," she reached for him and he shook her off, moving backwards, out of her grasp. "Reid, please let me explain. I should have told you this a long time ago but things were so new between us and I didn't want this to be the elephant in the room. I didn't know if you could handle this...if you would think it was a good idea to keep dating when I'm going through all this...I didn't want to burden you, I still don't." She paused, her voice cracking as she next spoke "I wouldn't be with anyone else. You're the only man I want. I kept this a secret because it was my thing to deal with...not yours. I did plan to tell you but I just wanted more time...more time for us...without this between us."

Reid swallowed hard. Moving close to her again, but not touching her, his voice dropped low and he asked, with tenderness and concern in his tone "Did someone hurt you, Emily?"

Just thinking she had been raped and endured it all in silence tore at Reid's heart. He started to search his mind for small signs she was traumatized ut he couldn't find any among all the fun and romantic memories they had made in the months they had been dating. What kind of profiler was he if he couldn't see how much his own girlfriend was suffering? How good at hiding her true self from him was Emily if she could disguise that much hurt?

"No," she whispered.

"I have an IQ of a 187 but I'm running out of ways you could have became pregnant without me being the father or you cheating on me. Stop trying to protect me from the truth. Can't you see how much that disrespects me and our relationship? If you can't talk to me about everything then why are we even together? You are allowed your privacy but there comes a time when you have to give that up for the sake of allowing me to help you and that time is right now."

She let out a fortifying breath before admitting "I was inseminated at a fertility clinic with donor sperm."

For a moment his eyes searched hers. "I didn't even know you were thinking of doing something like that. You could have shared that with me. There's nothing you have to shoulder alone anymore. Don't you know that yet?"

"Reid, its not just you I kept this from. No one knows. I did this completely on my own. It was my decision to make without anyone's input or opinion to sway me. Please don't take that personal because I swear it is not meant to be an insult to our friendship or how much I love you."

"Did you think I would try to talk you out of it? I wouldn't have. No one should tell a woman what choices to make for her own body." His tone grew frustrated as he continued "I just don't get how you lay next to me in bed every night, thinking about something so big like this, and you don't talk to me about it? Why, Emily? Why do you feel like you have to bear everything alone? You don't. You have friends and family, loved ones...you have me." He stepped closer to her and put his hands on her arms. "Don't you know that by now? Haven't I shown you I love you? Don't you want me anymore? Did you...did you fall out of love with me already?"


	18. Chapter 18

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Eighteen**

**January 2011**

Why? That was what Reid wanted to know most in the moments after hearing she had felt it necessary to keep it a secret that she went to a fertility clinic for artificial insemination.

"Why, Emily? Why do you feel like you have to bear everything alone? You don't. You have friends and family, loved ones...you have me." He stepped closer to her and put his hands on her arms. "Don't you know that by now? Haven't I shown you I love you? Don't you want me anymore? Did you...did you fall out of love with me already?"

Her words were broken, spoken through tears she tried to hold back, when she said "I want to be with you, Reid, but I just don't know if its fair to ask you to take on a pregnant girlfriend who will soon be a mother. You didn't decide to go to that fertility clinic. I did that all on my own. You shouldn't feel obligated."

"You think you're too much of an obligation to me? The moment I first decided to say aloud that I love you is when I decided to take on any challenge that I had to in order to be the man in your life. You are not a burden, Emily, not ever. You are my love. When I thought we had created a child together...everything I thought I would never have...I was so happy and excited to share all of that with you. If you would have told me that you were thinking about artificial insemination, I would have supported you. I totally get why you didn't want us to make a child, we just started dating. You were not sure then if we were going to stay together. I'm not offended that you went somewhere else to make a child. It was your decision, your body, and if I was you I wouldn't make a child with me either, not with these circumstances."

"Please don't talk that way. Going to the clinic never had a thing to do with how I feel about you. It wasn't choosing someone else to father my child over you. I didn't think you would want a child with me."

"You didn't ask either but its okay. I understand, Emily. This isn't about my feelings, anyway, its about the fact that you're pregnant and I just want to know...are you going to keep dating me and let me take on this with you or not? Have you written me off already because to you I'm just not up for all this is going to take? If that is how you feel, then please be honest and I'll gather my things and go. Don't lie to protect my feelings because if I lay in bed next to you ever again I don't want lies between us anymore. I'd rather just leave now, knowing my good friend Emily showed me enough respect to say the truth."

"I don't want to force a child into your life. A child should be loved, cherished, adored, planned for, created because the time is right. Otherwise, they feel it. They know. Like I knew my mother had insisted to my father they have kids, when he never wanted them, and though he would never let it show...I could feel it. And when my aunt finally let the truth slip it was a relief to know it wasn't me that made him cold...it was that he never had really wanted to have a child in the first place. You should really want a child, before you are stuck around one day and night. I don't want to make you feel stuck just cause I decided to become a mother."

"This is why you said we could only be short term, right? You were thinking of this way back then, weren't you?"

"I was more than thinking about it, Reid. I knew I was pregnant when we had that conversation. I found out the day after we first slept together."

His eyes widened. "You're that far along? This whole time...this whole time you've been pregnant? We weren't dating when you went to the clinic?"

"I went there for the first time last summer. I turned forty in October and it felt like...I felt out of time. I couldn't wait any longer for a relationship to happen so I could make a child with the man I love. I didn't have that kind of time left...That night when you came to my hotel room, when I kissed you, I suspected I could be pregnant...I knew the timing was bad...I have no excuses for you...I just saw my chance to be with someone I already had feelings for...I wanted to feel like you wanted me back, if only for that night, Reid...so I went for it. And then I tried to tell you it wouldn't last...I tried to keep things light...but I fell in love with you. I know I should have told you I'm pregnant. It just seemed like something that would mess up everything. We were having fun. Pregnancy isn't fun...Its scary and life changing and how can I ask you to go through all this just cause I wanted a child? You didn't agree to any of this ahead of time."

"So you've already made up your mind to do this all on your own? Typical Emily Prentiss, won't let anyone close enough to help her, no matter what the cost."

"I'm thinking about you, your future, your happiness."

"My happiness? No, I don't think so! You're doing what you always do- running from messy feelings, from long term. You don't do long term with anyone so why would you want me involved in your child's life? When I'm just someone who will feel burdened by you and your baby, right? If not now then one day. Of course I will. Everyone eventually turns on you so why think I'd be different or worth letting into your child's life?"

"Of course I want you with me and in my baby's life! I just don't want you feeling like you are a bad person if my being pregnant is too much for you or feel like that means you don't love me. Reid, I know you love me. I know you are a good guy who would stand by me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying that its too much for you. I love you and I've loved our time together but if its over then lets end this as friends. Lets be kind to each other."

"I don't believe you want me with you or part of your kid's life. You're saying anything you can think of to not say the truth. Saying you know its not want I asked for or expected so I can feel free to exit out the first door I can find. That's just your way to say that short term is over and you want to raise your baby on your own. I'm not wanted or needed in any of that". Reid grabbed his coat, keys and cell and headed for the door. He was angrily put on his shoes while saying "If that is the way you want it, then who am I to fight you on it? Fight for us? Why bother? You never gave us any chance to last in the first place! You wrote me off from the start and now I might as well prove you right."

"You're right. I never expected you to want to date a pregnant woman or help me raise my baby."

"_Why_?" he asked, pain filling his every word. "Is it because in the past I wasn't very enthusiastic about the idea of having a kid of my own? I wasn't decided yet. I just wasn't sure I could risk giving my child a gene for schizophrenia. I didn't say I don't plan to have kids because I hate children, hate the idea of being responsible to a child or that I'm repulsed by the idea of the woman I love being pregnant. Give me some credit. Stop making me pay for things men in your past did to you! I don't know all you went through but I do understand you have pain inside that you've never let show and you keep yourself at a distance from people to protect your secrets...yourself from getting betrayed again...but I AM NOT THEM! When you look at me don't you see how much I love you? I would do anything for you! I want to spend my life with you! If you would have wanted me...I would have loved you through this pregnancy, raising your child...through as many years as you let me. I would have...but you just can't risk giving me that kind of chance to hurt you, can you? You are protecting yourself and your child from me. From the idea that I'd leave some day. You don't do long term cause you think no one would want you for the long term, not once they really know you." He walked back over to her and repeated words she had said to him before "I really know you and I want you. I love you." Staring at her tear stained face he said "But if you don't want to trust that or me, then I can't make you."

He left her apartment while she stood there, speechless and numb, listening to the soft click of the door and then the silence, where there had been noise, life, Reid just seconds before.


	19. Chapter 19

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**January 2011**

That night, after fighting with Reid and him leaving her apartment, was the most miserable of her pregnancy. The whole last week her body had been feeling lousy. She was throwing up often, feeling flushed and dizzy. That night it was even worse.

Laying in bed, unable to sleep, she tossed and turned for hours, feeling weak, weary and sick of herself for all the bad decisions she had made in her life.

Finally, not long before dawn, she drifted into a restless sleep only to be woken up less than an hour later by cramps that made her cry out in pain. Emily got up from bed but was so dizzy she sunk to her knees.

Mumbling "No, I'm fine. The baby is fine," stubbornly, she tried to get up again but was too weak. It was all she could do to get her cell phone off the night stand and call an ambulance.

XXXXXX

Spencer Reid sat in the roundtable room waiting for the ten am briefing. The dark circles around his eyes were a tell tale sign of his sleepless night. It had been months since he slept anywhere but next to Emily.

He supposed he would have to get used to sleeping alone again. The thought did nothing to improve his foul mood.

Many hours had been spent going over and over his conversation with Emily in his mind- word by word, thanks to his eidetic memory- and adding up all the reasons she might think he wouldn't be a good partner to a woman with a child. He was too young (though teenagers had kids and he certainly was a decade older than that). He was too immature (did his love of magic, comics and Halloween really mark him as childish in her eyes?). He was unstable- his drug history, the risk he'd develop a mental illness, his quirks and social awkwardness.

But deep inside he knew it was not about him.

Of everyone he knew Emily accepted and loved him the most for all the things that made him different than any other man she could have chosen to date. Her not wanting to invest in the idea that they could keep dating as she went through her pregnancy and then gave birth and raised her child was not about who Reid was or wasn't at all.

It was all about who Emily Prentiss, at her deepest level, was and the trust issues she had that stopped her from wanting to rely on anyone but herself. Reid might not know much about love but he knew it couldn't work that way. Two people had to rely on each other, trust each other and be honest with each other- especially if a kid was involved.

A _kid_.

For a few weeks he had been mulling over the idea that he had impregnated Emily. At first it freaked him out but he grew to like...no, love...the idea. It started to feel perfectly right to know they had made a baby together. This relationship that came out of nowhere, his personal miracle, had created a life, a future for them all.

There would still be a future but would it be spent together? Emily was so good at shutting down. Would she just shut down now and let them stay broken up. Should Reid even try to breach the fortress she had built around her or would they only work out if Emily was the one to shatter her own walls?

Reid didn't know. He wasn't sure what would happen- more lonely nights without Emily for all the rest of his life or somehow would they work this out?

His head was pounding with a throbbing headache as he worried about this. He remembered as a boy he used to get bad headaches right after his father left the family. Headaches causes by emotional pain that manifested itself physically. Blinding pain that left him weak and doubled over.

Even light bothered him when he was suffering one of these headaches. It was as if the world was his enemy during them- light, noise, commotion all made it worse.

He slumped in his seat. Soon most of the rest of the team had come in and said good morning. Last through the door was Hotch, greeting them with a crisp "Prentiss won't be joining us today," which made Reid quickly straighten up and give his boss a raised eyebrow.

Hotch sat down and added. "She's out sick. Now lets get going. Garcia, the case, please."

Reid tried to focus on his job but his mind stayed on Emily. Was she sick with heartache or something else? He worried for her terribly.

It was awful to not know if the woman a man loved was suffering and also to not be there to help her through. It felt wrong to be away from her.

But if she stuck with her way of thinking that he wasn't wanted or needed in her or her child's future then Reid knew he would have to get real used to being away from Emily. Suddenly the rest of his life stretched out in front of him looking like the saddest, loneliest road he would have to walk alone.

Because even if he was surrounded by other friends and family, if he didn't have her...he would be, at heart, on his own.

XXXXXXXXX

A day later Emily slowly climbed the steps to her apartment, gingerly taking each step and clutching the railing tightly. An elderly neighbor woman passed her and asked "Are you all right, dear?"

"Fine. Thanks." Though she knew she looked anything but. She was wearing scrubs that they gave her at the hospital and some shoes that barely fit. She shuddered to think where a hospital would get shoes. They must have belonged to some person who came there and died.

She let out a cleansing breath and kept slowly climbing. Not for the first time in the last thirty hours did she think "I wanted to do this all alone, well I got my wish, didn't I?"

It was her own stubbornness that had kept her from calling anyone to come to the hospital and be with her. She had never been so terrified in all her life as she lay there for hours and wondered if she was losing her baby.

Once she got into her apartment she quickly did the alarm and then stumbled to the couch and lay down, letting out a long breath. She was still weak and that feeling was unusual for Emily. She prided herself on being strong, capable, able to take anything- a beating at the hands of an unsub, fighting off date rape back in college, the struggle of being pregnant as a teenager and enduring the abortion and aftermath. She could take anything she had to but it did take a toll to go through things alone.

She felt pathetic as hot tears streamed down her cheeks that afternoon. She wanted Reid- ached for him to be there to hold her, comfort her, tend to her, ramble about all the medical odds of this kind of thing happening.

The sun fell as she lay there on the couch. Later she rose, went to the kitchen and made herself some Gatorade with a dry mix plus water. After that she slowly made her way upstairs, intent to take a bath and change her clothes, but before she did that she checked her cell phone, which had been left on the night stand after the paramedics showed up.

Lifting it she saw that she had missed some text messages and phone calls. Garcia had called several times, probably concerned because Emily called off work yesterday and today. There was a text from Hotch asking if she was feeling any better yet and then one text from Reid.

It asked a simple question: _R U ok?_

No. She wasn't okay. How could she be? All she wanted was to find a way back to happiness and stability but it seemed so far away at the moment.

XXXXXXXXX

The team was out of town a few more days. By the time Reid came back home he looked as bad as he felt- like death warmed over.

Many times, since that first day when he had texted her, he had thought about texting or calling Emily but since she hadn't texted back he figured she didn't want to speak to him right now. The gulf between them seemed to be widening. The loneliness was settling into his bones, preparing him for a life after loving Emily.

Had he been foolish to disbelieve her words? She had warned she could only do short term. She told him it wouldn't last very long, let alone a lifetime.

But, damn it, his heart hadn't listened or believed in that. Not after she told him "I love you." Because if the love she felt for him was anything near what he felt for her then short term was just a joke because there couldn't be enough time for all they needed to share together.

Having a kid changes a person though. They put the kid first and only want the best life for that child, the best people around that child, and for the kid to not love someone who wouldn't be sticking around. Emily had to know that Reid intended to stick around. Did she really not want that? Really feel her and her child's life would be better enjoyed without him?

The weight of his pain wore him down, and his headaches nearly crippled him, as he made his way home that evening on the train. Walking the few blocks to his home he wondered how he could hate the idea of going home so badly. His home used to be a refuge.

But since he started to date Emily he had spent every night almost with her. Home was with her. His apartment was just a place now that had his stuff.

A couple of hours after he got home he was trying to lose himself in a book when there was a knock on the door. Surprised that anyone would be there he went and looked through the peephole.

Slowly he unlocked the door and disarmed the alarm, before opening it. His eyes washed over Emily. She looked more pale than usual, more tired, sedate.

"I didn't call to ask if I could come over," she said "because I didn't want to give you the chance to say no."

He stepped aside, allowing her entry. "I wouldn't say no."


	20. Chapter 20

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Note- **_I listened to the song You Came Around while writing this. This is a song that was especially made for the American soap opera General Hospital. Its written by Jayson Belt and Bob Hartley, sang by Annie Bethancourt. You can find it at you tube if you want to listen it._

**Chapter Twenty**

**January 2011**

Emily knew she needed to go see Reid on his first night home from the case. Each day they spent sleeping apart, not talking at all, felt wrong in every way. Another night with this dreadful aching distance between them was unthinkable.

She wanted him to know what she was thinking and feeling, to clear the air. Even if she had made too much of a mess for him to trust her right now or love her anymore she still needed to be here and say a few things that might make the pain lessen for him. Hurting him was the last thing she had wanted to do. It shamed her to know she had made him think for even a moment she didn't find him worthy of being in her child's life.

That couldn't be less true. She just hadn't wanted to thrust him into a commitment he didn't want or couldn't sustain. She had been afraid to believe the truth: that when Reid said he could see spending his life with her he had meant every would. That every _I love you_ was really_ I'll love you till I die_.

Never before had anyone loved her better or more than Spencer Reid had. And, God knew even if no one else maybe did, she had never loved any man more than him.

When he opened the door of his apartment that evening she noticed how tired he looked, the bags under his eyes hinting at his sleepless nights since they had saw each other last. She hadn't slept much either. Fear and regret had kept her awake.

"I didn't call to ask if I could come over," she said "because I didn't want to give you the chance to say no."

He stepped aside, allowing her entry. "I wouldn't say no."

She came inside, slowly unbuttoned her wool coat and slipped it off, laying it on a nearby chair.

"Can we sit?"

He nodded. Emily gratefully sunk into the nearest chair. Her body still felt like it had been put through the wringer.

He sat on the couch, quietly watching her, waiting for her to speak.

Speaking slowly Emily said "I'm sorry. I know I hurt you by keeping my pregnancy a secret. I didn't want all that pressure to be on us when we had just started dating...to have to answer questions we weren't ready to even ask yet..for you to tell me if you wanted to stay with me knowing I have a kid on the way. Maybe I was more afraid you'd say yes than no because yes means I have to let you in...and I am not good at that...but I want to let you in, Reid. I want to because I've grown very accustomed to being with you and I already miss...having you near. I understand if you don't trust me right now, though, and if you need some space to figure out what you want. I just came here to make sure you know...I might be stubborn and think I can and should do everything all alone...and maybe I could do it successfully alone...but I want to do everything, including raising this baby, with the man I love...That won't change, no matter how long you stay angry with me. I don't blame you for being pissed off. I should have trusted you. I just suck at trusting that anyone would love me as much as I know you do. I'm sorry, Reid, for showing so little faith in you and in what we have together." She kept picking at the skin around her nails as she made her plea to him.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have walked out on you. That is something I swore to myself I would never do and I'm sorry I did that to you, Emily. I should have stayed and not given up that way. You deserved better than that."

"You were just mad. You needed time to cool off. I get it. Don't be hard on yourself. You walking out of my apartment that day is not the same as what your father did. Its not even close. I know you never intended to ignore me for the rest of our lives. That's not you. If you promise to stay with me then you would."

"How could you ever trust me to stay when I just walk away because we get in a fight?"

"Reid, when you told me you would love me for the rest of your life, I knew you meant it. Even though you were screaming when you said it. You're allowed to get mad, to yell, and to storm out the door when you're pissed. You're allowed to not even feel like looking at me or speaking to me until you calm down. That's normal and it doesn't mean you abandoned me. You could even say that this is all too much for you and I would understand but I hope you don't say that because...what we have...it doesn't happen twice...not for anyone. Even if I could one day move on, which I kinda doubt," her voice broke "I know I'd never love anyone like I love you ever again."

He came over and crouched in front of her. Threading his fingers in her hair, holding her head still so she was looking in his eyes, he asked, his voice low and soft, imbued with emotion "Move on? There is a statistical improbability of that ever happening for either of us."

Emily gave him a weak, but relieved, smile through her tears before hugging him, burying her face against the crook of his neck. Soon she was breaking into sobs as he held her tight.

"Emily, its okay. We are going to be okay. I know it. Because we love each other and that is all that matters most to both of us. That has to be enough. I know it can be. Trust me."

"It just felt like I was losing everything...you, the baby...and I don't want to go back to how I was before. I know I said I could do it all alone but I don't want to be left alone anymore."

He pulled back and looked at her tear stained face, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. "What do you mean: it felt like you were losing the baby?" His eyes glanced down at her stomach.

"I wasn't at work because I was in the hospital. I-"

"What? The hospital? Why didn't you call me?"

"I know you would have came but I guess...I didn't feel like I had a right to ask you to after how I treated you."

"You will always have the right to ask me anything you want or need. Until you believe that though there will be never be stability between us. And I want...need...stability. Tell me...what happened at the hospital? The baby?"

"Is okay. Don't worry."

He nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Well I thought I had morning sickness but I actually had the flu. I got dehydrated and that led to cramping. I had to stay at the hospital overnight to get fluids in me and for monitoring."

"I'm sorry. I should have confronted you sooner about the pregnancy and then you wouldn't have had to hide your symptoms and this would never have happened."

"Stop blaming yourself for my mistakes. It is my responsibility to protect this pregnancy and I screwed up."

"Pregnant women are more susceptible to the flu and more likely to be hospitalized because of it. Its not anything you did wrong."

"I still feel like a bad mother. I put this baby at risk because I was more concerned with not leaning on you or anyone then just admitting I'm not superwoman."

"You're better than superwoman, Emily. She has nothing on you."

Emily chuckled. Reid leaned over and kissed her. When he broke their gentle kiss he rested his forehead against hers "Tired?"

"Exhausted."

He stood up and held his hand out to her. "Time for bed then."

She took his hand and stood up. They walked to the master bathroom together, got out some night clothes, went into the bathroom and did their nightly routine of face washing and teeth brushing before getting changed. Reid took a few aspirins.

Emily raised her eyebrow.

"I'm okay," he said. "My headache is actually not as severe right now as it has been the last few days."

"You've had a headache for days? Maybe you better see a doctor."

"Sometimes, when I was a kid, I got headaches when things were very stressful around the house."

After a moment she nodded. Reaching up she massaged his temples for a moment, his eyes drifted close as he relaxed, and then she massaged the base of his skull.

When she was done she said "This will be the first time this week I actually might get some decent rest. I'm going to become one of those whiny partners that I hate who complains when you go away on cases because I can't sleep if you're gone. Shoot me now."

Reid smirked. "Maybe we can get you a me sized doll."

She rolled her eyes. "Sure that wouldn't be freaky at all."

"Morgan might make fun of you if he found out," Reid teased.

She gently pushed at his chest. "Shut up. A doll wouldn't work anyway. Your genius logic is falling short this time. Its more than just the feel of you next to me. Its your smell and sound and touch."

As they pulled back the covers on the bed he teased her by asking "Was that you trying to talk me out of my pants?"

"Not a chance, buddy. I'm too tired to so much as think about sex right now."

They crawled into bed. "Huh," Reid mused. "Odd. Cause that was totally working on me."

She smirked, turned and cupped his cheek, giving him a kiss full of passion and brimming with emotion. They kept kissing as they slid downwards, so they were laying on their sides and facing each other. They fell asleep with his arm around her waist, after talking for a few minutes about how exciting it was that she was pregnant. Emily snuggled close to Reid, sucking in his scent and reveling in his warmth, and thanked God she still could sleep within the warmth of his arms.


	21. Chapter 21

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Twenty One**

**January 2011**

The morning after they made up from their first big fight Emily woke up before Reid. As she was laying there, slowly coming awake, she reveled in the feeling of him next to her in bed, his arm still around her waist, hand on her bare back beneath her shirt.

Before they ever had started dating she knew that Spencer Reid was a good man. He had a loving heart and a sweet soul. But now that they were a serious couple she had found out just how truly remarkable he was. Emily had always been her own biggest protector in the world. Now, though, she knew she had Reid to protect her too, to love her through any of her mistakes or missteps, through her fears, insecurities and doubts. All the ugly things in the world and in herself he didn't blink when he saw. She needed strength like that, as much as she had fought admitting it.

A man she couldn't chase away ever.

A gentle smile came to her lips as her eyelids fluttered open. She took in the sight of him sleeping- a little growth on his cheeks, his mouth open with some drool coming out, his expression peaceful and relaxed.

Her heart soared. Just a year ago she was finally starting to admit to herself she hated it that he was seeing Austin. Its not that she didn't know for quite a while she found him sexy, brainy and nerdy in the most adorable way but she couldn't admit how much she wanted to get closer to him. He rarely bought Austin around them or even talked about her so it was easy to pretend she didn't really exist- until New Year's Eve of 2009.

She showed up at a party that JJ and Will had. Seeing the way Reid interacted with Austin annoyed the hell out of Emily. She tried to tell herself it was because the woman was flighty but the truth was she hated to see Reid's hand on any other woman's back, thigh, waist, his fingers intertwined with hers, him laughing at her jokes and his eyes tender with emotion.

When Reid and Austin broke up a few months later Emily had already started to flirt with Reid, wanting him for herself. It never worked though. He didn't get what she wanted. Not until that night she kissed him and they made love for the first time.

It was a sweet relief to have Reid understand how very much she was attracted to him. It had changed everything. A part of her wished she had done it sooner but that would be like wishing her child was never conceived. Though Emily might never know the identity of the father of her baby she still found her child perfect. This baby was just who this baby was supposed to be.

So everything with Reid happened when it needed to have happened. She was just glad he was here now. Glad and amazed that he had fallen in love with her. Her life had never been filled with beautiful, happy endings...it shocked her that she had Reid, had this baby on the way, and was living a happy ending. Her life could be this...this beauty and love...it took her breath away.

Pressing a soft kiss to Reid's cheek she then slowly crawled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom.

When she came back to bed he was awake. She smiled a sensual smile at him, as she climbed onto the bed on her knees and leaned close to him, murmuring "You're here."

"Where else would I be? When you went to sleep I was here so it shouldn't be surprising," he declared in his truly curious way, wondering why she had said what she said.

Emily's smile grew as she shook her head at him. "Mr. Literal, I meant to say_ I'm glad you're here_."

"Oh." He smirked. "Me too." And then he pulled her against him so she was over his lap and looking up at him, before his lips slowly molding against hers, teasing her with a gentle kiss.

They kept sharing tender kisses, their hands exploring each other's bodies, until Reid stroked his hand gently over her stomach, his thumb rubbing softly back and forth below her belly button. Emily slowly broke their kiss and stared into his eyes- seeing a look of devotion and wonder in his gaze.

A sweet smile crossed her lips and they just stared into each other's eyes for a moment, silently taking in the fact that the baby existed and would be with them for all the rest of their lives. That they were really committed to each other now, to sharing all of life's struggles and joys.

Raising her hands she cupped his face, as the moment grew with want and tension, and then slowly brought her mouth to his. Shifting, moving together, she lay back on the bed, moaning at the feel of his long, lean, hard body pressing against her.

That feeling is one she wanted to know over and over many nights for the rest of her life. And now she finally let herself believe that she actually could.

XXXXXXXXXX

Two days later Emily and Reid went back to work.

She had been off a week by that time. A soft smile played on her lips as she remembered how they had spent their days off after they had made up- long hours spent just lounging, him rambling about the development of the baby, sharing two hour baths and having a poker tournament where they were both very ruthless and determined to win. In the end she beat him but cheered him up by climbing on his lap for some strictly adult style fun.

After taking off her coat and putting her purse in her desk drawer she made her way to Hotch's office, knocked and then entered once he told her to. "Hey."

He gave her a concerned look. "Feeling better?"

"Much. Thanks. Do you have a few minutes though? I need to speak with you about something important."

"Of course. Have a seat." He still had a leery look in his eyes, sensing she had been hiding something for a while now.

"I know I should have given you more of a head's up because you'll have to replace me but-"

"If this is about your relationship with Reid, you don't need to leave the team because of it. Though, officially speaking, I'm unaware of any changes between you two that might violate the frat rules."

"Its not that. I need to leave the team because I've decided to take a couple of years off from work. I don't need to leave immediately but I can't work in the field anymore."

Hotch raised an eyebrow, the concern on his face only deepening, only with confusion.

Emily went on "I'm pregnant."

For a moment Hotch was surprised but then his eyes lightened with happiness for her. "Congratulations."

"Thank you. I know I don't have to take time away from work but I want to be the primary care giver for my kid for a couple of years, just so I can savor every little thing about this experience. Once the baby can go to pre-school then I'll come back to work, maybe at a desk job, if its not too boring. I hated my desk job before the BAU so I'm not sure I could stand it again. I might be back here with my resume in hand pleading for a space on your team again when the time comes to get back to work."

Hotch slowly stood up. "And you would be welcomed back whole heartedly, budget withstanding."

She smirked and stood. "Right."

"It would have been nice to have more warning but I understand that you told me when you were ready."

"I'd like to tell the rest of the team today during our briefing."

"You can still come along on cases but stay back at the police station for now until you officially go on leave. We still need your prospective on the profile."

"Yes, sir, of course," Emily said.

He walked to his door and opened it. "You do know this means you get to do more paperwork instead of helping Morgan kick down doors, right?" he teased, joking for a rare moment.

She smirked. "I know and its gonna really suck."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The team was gathered in the round table room a little more than an hour later, for their ten am briefing.

As soon as Hotch walked in Penelope flipped the controller in her hand "Okay, my super crime fighters, today we have a real sick twist with this baddie-"

Hotch interrupted "One moment, please, Garcia." His gaze switched to Prentiss.

All eyes turned to her. She spoke "I know this is gonna come out of left field but...I'm pregnant."

When no one reacted with surprise she groaned "You all suck! How long have you known?"

Penelope said "A little birdie did mention to me that there may be a bun in our raven haired beauty's oven."

Morgan said "All the signs were there."

Reid said "You didn't have any idea until I told you I suspected."

Morgan smirked. "That's not true, kid. I was just keeping my suspicions to myself."

Rossi told Emily "You do have a tell tale glow."

"I do?" she asked, shaking her head at that idea since she hadn't felt very well the week before and was just getting stronger again. She gave them all a small smile.

"Totally!" Penelope cried. "You have that ethereal mommy-to-be look about you. I can't believe you didn't tell me the second you suspected you were preggers. I'm severely behind in my booty and baby blanket making now. You know I have to spoil this baby rotten: the offspring of two of the most awesome people I know. EEEE! JJ is gonna faint when she hears that boy genius knocked you up."

Emily said "There is something that I need to make clear to all of you...Reid and I are very excited about this pregnancy but it didn't come about in the traditional way."

Morgan scrunched his nose. "No details, please! Come on now. Spare us. Some of us just got done with breakfast," he joked.

"Ha ha," Emily joked back. "What I mean is...I went to a fertility clinic to conceive. Its something that I want to be up front to all of you about and for the baby to one day know and understand. I decided to get help conceiving because I didn't want to leave it to chance any longer. I kept quiet till now because I wanted to make it through the first trimester before saying anything. My due date is July 7th. You don't need to do the math or wonder...I was inseminated with donor sperm before Reid and I started dating." She gave Reid a loving look. "I feel pretty lucky that everything happened the way it did so I'm not going through this alone."

Penelope came over to hug Emily. "You'd never be alone, sweetie. And, let me assure you, you've scored an awesome boy toy for yourself and future daddy for your little bambino." Squeezing Emily tightly, Penelope said "You are surrounded by love."

After a moment Emily joked "Garcia, you're cutting off my breathing." That moment there was such a warmth in the air as they all talked for a couple more minutes about the baby, teasing about baby names and sharing their excitement before they started to talk about the case.

Emily finally wasn't alone in this pregnancy or in her life. She had let down more of her wall to let her loved ones in to care for her. With a baby on the way it was more important than ever that she keep doing that. She could do it all alone.

But she would never have to because she would always have the love and support of her BAU family.


	22. Chapter 22

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Twenty Two**

**June 2011**

"I like to think of myself as a pretty smart woman," Emily said, as she rested with her back against Reid's chest while they sat in a lounge chair at the beach house they had rented "so you would think I would know better than to get pregnant in October so my due date would be in the thick of summer."

At eight months pregnant she was feeling heavy and uncomfortable, moving a lot slower than usual, and always complaining about being hot. This trip to the beach was just for a couple of days in the middle of the week when Reid got time off work unexpectedly after a long case.

It would be their last chance to get away together before the baby was born.

"More children are born in the summer than any other time of the year in the United States. In Japan it's the opposite with more children being born in winter, due to the fact that Spring is a traditional time for marriages to take place and children are conceived soon after."

"Well I should have went to the clinic sooner so this kid would be here by now."

Reid lifted an ice cube out of his glass of water and gently ran it over her neck, making her squeal and then moan as he moved the ice down to circle her nipple. She was so sensitive that she threw back her head in pleasure, resting it on his shoulder, and her fingers gripped the chair.

With her eyes tightly closed she was lost in sensory overload as she felt Reid surrounding her- his hand on her breast, gently massaging, his mouth on her throat, nipping and sucking, his leg looped over her leg and his other hand lightly stroking against the bare skin of her leg, exposed under the maternity dress she wore.

Every day their intimacy grew as they moved closer to bringing this child into the world. There were no more doubts or questions about if they were doing this together. Reid had read every book he could get his hands on about parenting, written his mother a letter a day about her coming grandchild and how wonderful Emily's love was for his life, and already child proofed Emily's whole apartment.

A part of her wished they would get married before the baby was born, making Reid the legal father because the baby was born during their marriage, but they weren't ready for that yet. They hadn't even brought it up to each other. She knew that one day they would get there though. Right now they were still building the trust and commitment between them.

Sometimes they got into little fights if one of them was in a cranky mood but usually they were in perfect tune with each other. Reid going away on cases meant she would long for him while he was gone and they would always have sex just as soon as he got back home.

They never had sex outside before though, as they were right now. Shrouded by darkness and shrubs on the patio of the beach house there was little chance of anyone seeing them though. The cool breeze somewhat helped with how warm Emily felt. The beach house only had large ceiling fans and no air conditioning. She should have figured something was up when the brochure said the place was rustic with no television, dish washer or other modern conveniences. Not having TV or a dish washer was no big deal but no air conditioning was proving a problem.

At the moment though she wasn't concerned about the long, hot night ahead, instead she was moaning in ecstacy at the hot moment she was sharing with her lover.

"Spencer," she breathed out his name in pleasure, right after his fingers had slid beneath her loose fitting sun dress and pushed aside her panties, stroking through her wetness.

Barely there touches left her panting for more friction until she was lifting her hips to try and get some relief. He rolled her onto her side and moved behind her,helping her out of her panties before undoing his cargo shorts to push them down. Thrusting into her slowly he murmured words of love against her neck..

"Mmm, you feel so good, Emily. So perfect. So beautiful. Everything I want and need. Everything I love."

"Yes, Spencer, yes. Oh God! Right there. Right there."

Long minutes passed as they rocked against each other, with him kissing and sucking on her shoulder and throat, until she started to grow more frantic, speeding them up and crying out for release. Slipping his fingers between her thighs he tapped and stroked her clit.

Her cry of pleasure pierced the night air, followed by his loud moan and then soft panting of her name after he relaxed against her. A few minutes later she rolled over, gave him a slow, soft kiss, and then rested her head on his chest.

"Its gonna suck when we have to wait two months to have sex after I give birth."

"Its actually typically six weeks that a doctor recommends a woman refrains from intercourse."

"It could be ten weeks or twelve, who knows how I'll feel."

"You're right. That is gonna suck," he agreed, making them both chuckle. He played with her hair as they lay there, her listening to the sound of his heart and he listened to the sound of her breathing, mixed with the sound of the ocean lapping the shore in the distance.

She ran her fingers down his arm and then tangled her fingers with his. A minute later he said "Lately you've been rubbing my ring finger quite often."

"Oh. Sorry about that. Its subconscious, that's all."

"I've been thinking a lot about us getting married too."

She lifted her head and met his eyes, staring in them for a long moment.

He went on "I want to marry you very much, Emily."

"I know," she said, in a sweet tone. "I can feel it. And I hope you feel how much I want to marry you too."

"Yeah, I do." He placed his hand on her protruding baby bump. "And I bet this one would like us to get married too, don't you think?"

She smiled, getting a little teary. "Yeah, she votes yes to Mommy and Daddy getting hitched but Reid we should wait till the time is right for us."

He nodded, searching her eyes. "Sure. I plan to ask you in a much bigger, grander way, fit for one of your romantic myths. I want to do everything right too."

She chuckled and laid her head on his chest again. "Its not about the proposal, its about being ready."

"I feel ready."

Her head popped up again, now with a bigger smile on her face. "You are?"

He nodded. "I feel more ready to be your husband than I felt ready to start college at 12 or to join the FBI at 22. I'm ready for this..." he ran his hand over her stomach lovingly "my wife, my daughter. I wouldn't have thought a year ago I'd be ready but I also didn't think a year ago you'd ever want to kiss the nerdiest man you ever met."

She laughed, through some tears. "I always told you I'm a nerd too."

"What about you? Are you ready?"

She nodded, her voice breaking. "Yeah, I am."

Their lips came together in a tender kiss. Against her lips he asked, huskily, "Marry me?"

"Hell yes I will!" she murmured before kissing him again.

She didn't want them to rush into a marriage just because the baby was almost here but it wasn't that fact that was driving her decision tonight. The baby brought them even closer together but she would have loved him anyway. She had, in fact, and she knew now she always would.

(_Even if I'd seen it coming,_

_you would have still seen me running_

_straight into your arms._

_I would have loved you anyway._

_I'd do it all the same._

_Not second I would change._

_Not a touch that I would trade_...

_I would have loved you anyway_) (Trisha Yearwood)


	23. Chapter 23

**The Most Life Changing Thing**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Twenty Three**

**July 2011**

Standing under an arch of flowers, in the backyard of Rossi's cabin, Emily and Reid held hands as they recited their vows, while standing in front of a very small group of family and friends. Emily was just a few days before her due date. The wedding had been thrown together in less than a month yet it was beautiful and just what they wanted. The most important thing was to have their mothers there and their BAU family.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Reid cupped Emily's face, kissing first the tears on her cheeks and then her lips, as the baby was cradled within her between their bodies.

The audience clapped as the newly married husband and wife made their way back down the aisle.

After doing the receiving line they started to take pictures.

The moment her water broke was caught on film, along with Reid's panicked look. The video captured his rambling about how long the average delivery is and Emily crying "Get me to a hospital!" as if she was afraid she would have to give birth at her own wedding reception.

"Oh my," Penelope said "EP you have some timing! I didn't even get a glass of champagne yet."

"Take that up with the baby," Emily snarked at her as Hotch and Dave helped Emily out to the front of the house, where Reid was already getting the car started.

JJ hurried inside to get Emily's purse for her. Soon all the guests were waving good bye as Reid drove his wife to the hospital to give birth to their daughter.

By dawn the baby slid into the world, greeted by her exhausted and teary parents who long ago had settled on her name: Cassandra Star.

Her middle name was inspired by the first time Emily tried to flirt with her future husband. Even though it didn't work they still laughed about it often.

With the baby laying on Emily's chest she didn't seem to be able to stop crying, and staring in wonder from her child to her husband. "She's here. She's here. Look at her. She's perfect."

"She's amazing," Reid said, in awe.

Hours later Emily woke from her sleep to see Reid holding the baby. To her it was a beautiful, precious sight that only made her love him all the more. And to think she would see that sight day after day was more than she could even comprehend.

Before she got the chance to speak to Reid, and let him know she was awake and wanted to hold Cassie, Elizabeth Prentiss knocked on the open door and came inside. "I hope I'm not interrupting. The nurse seemed to think it would be fine to visit, since I am family, but if you prefer your privacy..."

Emily slowly sat up. Letting out a steadying breath she then gave her mother a genuine smile. "Stay. Meet your grandchild."

Reid's eyes met Emily's and she could see how proud he was of her for giving her mother an olive branch. Maybe things would get rocky between the women again but today wasn't the day for worrying about past hurts or imagining future problems that could arise. Today was all about family and love.

XXXXXXXXXXX

October 2013

"Say Happy Birthday Mommy!" Reid prompted Cassie, as they shook Emily awake. They were visiting England that year. Two years ago, for her birthday, they went to Greece and last year it was Italy.

Cassie, who was now two years old, babbled "Mama, birthday! Mama, wake up. Its birthday!" Her fingers tangled in Emily's hair, effecting tugging her awake, if the noise hadn't already woken her.

Reid had to pry Cassie's fingers out of Emily's hair. "Gentle with Mommy. She's cranky when she's woken up too early."

"You got that right," Emily mumbled, good naturedly, before she sat up, taking her daughter onto her lap. Cassie and Reid both wore birthday hats. Emily chuckled at the sight of them.

Reid leaned over and kissed her. "Happy birthday, my beautiful heart," he murmured to her, speaking in Russian, to remind her of their first days dating.

That day was spent going site seeing and then bringing Cassie back to the hotel for a mid-afternoon nap. As their child rested Emily and Reid were standing out on the balcony, her back resting against his chest as his hands lay on her stomach.

Quietly she stated "You've been rubbing my stomach a lot lately. You want to try for another baby, don't you?"

He let out a sigh. "I'm very happy with the family we have now but sometimes, I guess, yeah, I do think about it."

"I don't know how successful we'd be but I am willing to try, if you want."

"Thank you for saying that but it can't just be something you do to please me."

She looked up at him, with her probing look that meant she didn't understand his thinking. "Of course I want to have another child with you. If I didn't then I wouldn't even bring this up at all."

"Maybe you think you'd be letting me down if you don't? You just went back to work again. Is this really the time to have another kid?"

"Okay so we'll wait six months. I don't want to deliver in summer again anyway."

He smiled down at her, brushing her hair away from her face. "Really?"

"Really."

His smile grew. "I would like that very much, I think."

She chuckled. "I think he says. Once I'm knocked up you better be sure cause it will be too late to say I think," Emily teased.

Reid rested his forehead against hers. "I'm sure. I've often thought I want Cassie to have a sibling. Whether they are close or not they will at least always have each other, even when we're gone."

"If we can't get pregnant we could always adopt."

"That's true. Older children wait in foster care for years for a family."

"We'll expand our family, Spencer, one way or the other."

He gave her a gentle kiss. "Henry David Thoreau once said: _Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream world into reality. _Emily, you bring my every dream to life. That is something I never would have thought anyone could do for me...or would want to do. You love me better than I ever thought I could be loved."

"And you do the same for me." She smiled brightly. "So I'll keep you...hmmm..._I think._"

They chuckled, as their arms snaked around each other and they kissed under the setting sun. The night they had first slept together he had asked her if he could help her and she had kissed him, saying that is how he could help her best.

She had been right. Reid helped Emily make a life that was much more than just her career and lonely nights spent aching for his arms around her, for a child to hold in hers. He helped her make a love, a family, a future.

And everyday he kept right on helping her grow that love, that family, their future. Sleeping with him led to the most life changing thing in all the world. It had been the start of making this life that she loved to share with him.

**THE END**

_Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this story._

Sara.


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